A Cup of Kindness
by Annamonk
Summary: So, a second holiday short? Blame Omslagspapper. We got to chatting about a story idea I had put off and suddenly I'm writing it. She's worked some spell on me. I hope you enjoy it. Buffy needs help, so Giles seeks out assistance from old friends.
1. Christmas Day

Giles watched Buffy go through the motions. She was opening her gifts and holding them up, smiling for all to see. A cashmere sweater in a pale blue joined a pair of earrings in the pile beside her. The others watched her approvingly, seeing only what she wanted them to see.

He wanted to scream at them. How could they not see beyond the subterfuge?How could they not see her?

She had retreated as soon as Dawn left for college. The lively well adjusted act had fallen away when the others weren't present. When she had given up her flat in Rome to move into his home he had rejoiced. The hope that they would be able to repair their relationship had died quickly.

Oh, she smiled at him occasionally and sat with him during meals. She barely ate, no matter what he placed before her. She looked like a wraith moving through his home. The smallest pants hung on her hip bones. She looked like a little girl playing dress up in her mother's clothes.

He had tried taking her out. The movies, the theatre, the opera, not one of them had interested her in the slightest. She slayed. It was all she did. She patrolled all night and then disappeared into the underground to hunt the stragglers. None of the other slayers would go with her. She refused to teach the new girls and the others were afraid of her.

She cared enough to spare her friends, or, perhaps, this was an attempt to protect herself from their concern.

He tossed back a drink. His slayer was dying. He could see it. He knew she was looking for the demon that would finish her. She had killed off every master in Europe and Asia. One of them had all but gutted her, but she had duck taped her skin and gone after his mate. The hospital in Venice hadn't thought she would make it through the night, but she had been up and signing herself out the next day. In Moscow, he'd found her passed out in an empty apartment half drained and covered in ashes. She had sobbed as he cleaned her up and forced juice down her throat, too weak to fight him. The battle in Barcelona had resulted in a compact fracture of her femur. She had hobbled into the slayer house and collapsed. The local watcher had called him from the hospital. She was gone before he could arrive. The other watcher had lauded her dedication. It had taken all of his control not to flatten the bastard. The worst situation by far had been in Prague. Drusilla had found Buffy and begged to be dusted. Buffy had obliged her after the pair had clung to each other sobbing over their shared losses. He had watched as his slayer scrape the floor of the old building, trying to gather the ashes of the last Aurelian.

The nightmares had started again after that. Buffy had asked Willow to magically soundproof her room when the screams had brought him running for nine days straight. He should have stopped that. Knowing she was suffering was agony if he could hear her or not.

He had to help her. This group Christmas celebration had failed. He could see that even as it continued around him. She had slid back into the façade, and the people that had fought by her side so many times had accepted it. Perhaps the bonds they had forged were another casualty of the war with the First Evil.

Dawn laughed and pulled the woolen hat that looked like a kitten on her head. A fleeting smile graced Buffy's lips.

"You knitted this?" Dawn looked at her sister.

"I'm good with pointy wooden things." Buffy shrugged. "It helps pass the time between patrols. The yarn is soft and I like the feel of it in my hands."

The group moved on. Each showing off their gifts in turn. Her eyes followed the action, but she wasn't truly involved. She didn't bother to smile unless their eyes were on her.

"Heard you ran into a bit of trouble in Athens a couple of months back." Xander handed her a sloppily wrapped present. "These might help."

The weighted throwing knives were added to the little pile of things beside her with the same grateful smile as all the rest. She had learned how to hold them all at bay.

Something had to be done. If he failed, this would be her last Christmas.

He poured another drink.

Buffy handed him a festive present. The striped paper and the gold bow looked like a modern take on Victorian decor. He peeled the tape back gently and slid the box out. The sweater she had knitted him was a moss green. When had she made this? He looked into her sad eyes and saw the tears threatening to spill.

"It is lovely, Buffy. Thank you." He put the sweater down and opened his arms, hoping there was enough life left in her to reach out. She was in his arms in a flash of movement. Her wretched sobs filled the room. "I'm so sorry, Buffy. I know it hurts."

He looked up to see the others staring at them in shock. Good, this might all come right after all. He stroked Buffy's back and rocked gently, trying to soothe her.

"So, you can't even pretend anymore." Dawn's voice was icy as she stood and tossed her kitten hat to the floor. "You promised me I wouldn't have to put up with any more of your drama. You promised."

"I'm sorry." Buffy shuddered in his arms and pushed away from him gently. She stoked one hand on his arm before pulling herself from his grasp and standing up. "I'll go patrol."

She was gone before he could stop her.

"Why?" He turned toward Dawn. "She's suffering. What could possess you to be so cruel?"

"What's going on here?" Xander stood. "We're attacking Dawn because Buffy the drama queen stormed off again?"

"Xander, would you please take Dawn upstairs." Willow sighed and set aside her still wrapped gift. "I need to talk to Giles alone."

Xander looked at the pile of Buffy's things on the floor and nodded.

"Come on, Dawn. Let's go put some of this stuff away." Xander nudged her and pocked up his stuff. "This place may be bigger than the Sunnydale Museum was, but it gets messy pretty fast."

Dawn shrugged and grabbed her stuff. She stomped from the room with Xander in tow.

Giles looked at Willow and waited. The young witch fidgeted. Her eyes darted around the room. He hadn't seen her this nervous since the high school years.

"Just spit it out, Willow."

"They did a spell that first night after Sunnydale." Willow sounded tired. "Kennedy called me when she caught them."

"I see."

"They both knew better, but they did it anyway." She stood up and started to pace. "They wanted to alleviate their sadness and guilt. I can understand it. It wasn't meant badly, but they used a spell from a grimoire they found in Anya's stuff on the bus."

"Why would they do such a thing?" He swallowed.

"They wanted the pain to stop." Willow sighed. "And it did. The spell worked for them. Buffy absorbs their pain and it never ends because they never deal with it and she can't."

"Why would they do such a thing to Buffy?" He fought down the urge to beat the lot of them to bloody pulps for hiding this.

"They misread the spell." Willow sighed. "They thought they were asking for strength like hers."

"Why haven't you reversed the spell?"

"It would hurt them, and Buffy refused to do it. Only the victim can. There's a counter spell, but that's complicated, too. The counter spell can be done by one that loved her purely. Only that person can even read the counter spell." Willow rolled her eyes.

"Get me the book." Giles grabbed his drink and tossed it back. "And get Dawn and Xander."

"Giles, I've done the research..."

"I have more resources than you, Willow." He pulled his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Three years of suffering and you just shrug your shoulders. Buffy has been trying to end her life for the last year. She's come close on at least nine occasions. I brought you here in hopes of lifting her spirits, and now she is shattered, out on patrol. I wonder which hospital will call tonight."

"She told me it was just slaying." Willow looked up at him with her wide eyes. "I didn't know it was that bad."

"I don't want to hear your excuses. I want the book and I need to speak with Xander and Dawn." He slammed the flat of his tablet he table.

Willow ran.

He sighed.

An exchange of angry hisses and the scuffle of feet heralded the appearance of the main culprits. He turned. Their familiar faces seemed foreign now.

"How could you let her suffer for you? She was injured and mourning the loss of her lover and you dumped all your pain into her, locked it up inside her and went on with your lives."

"She wouldn't do the spell reversal." Xander sat down. "She refused, so it's not my problem."

"She gets mopey around the holidays. She'll bounce back soon." Dawn flopped onto the couch beside Xander. "She always does."

Willow walked in and handed him the cordovan encased text. He stroked the cover, assessing it with all his senses. The darkness of the contents made him shudder. This was a demon's grimoire. The fools had done something far worse than he had suspected, flipping through the book sickened him. Anya had kept this as a remembrance of Halfrek. It hadn't been something she used.

He looked at the trio arrayed about his living room. They should have come to him. Xander and Dawn were caught up in the spell, but Willow had no such excuse. Buffy had been hurting for years. Why had they let her suffer?

"The three of you have one hour to get out of my house. I love you, but Buffy needs to feel safe in her home. I can not condone what you have done. I can not begin to understand it. If Buffy can be saved, it will be due in no part to any of you. I hope she can forgive you this crime. I find I can not. Your hour begins now."

Giles stalked from the room ignoring their tears and angry words. Buffy was his daughter, not the flesh of his flesh, but the child of his soul. He had failed her too often. This time he could not.


	2. Boxing Day

Giles gathered the take away curry and headed for the address in Mayfair. It had been so many years. He rolled his broad shoulders under the imagined weight.

He had last made this walk in the eighties, desperate with longing and more than a bit legless. He took a deep breath as the house came into view. His heart ached. It had been his home for such a short time.

The bag with the book pricked at him. There was no choice. Buffy was failing fast. She hadn't returned home the night before. Giles closed his eyes against the possibility that there would be no new year for his slayer.

The coven in Devon might be able to help, but this was dark magic. Time was of the essence. He walked up to the glossy black door and knocked.

The door swung wide and he sagged in relief.

"I need your help." Giles looked into the familiar eyes and held his breath. Ethan sighed and stepped to the side, allowing him entrance.

"The curry had best be a damn sight better than that other crap your carrying, Ripper." Ethan took the plastic bag from him. "Your looking good, Head of the Council. The power agrees with you."

"At the moment, it means nothing to me. I'd cede the position to you if that's what you want." Giles swallowed.

"You know what I want, Ripper, but we can't turn back time." Ethan sighed. "Not in any meaningful way. So, what have those idiot children you are so obsessed with done now?"

"They used a spell from this damned book on Buffy." Giles swallowed and looked away from Ethan's probing gaze. The gentle hand on his shoulder broke him. He turned and buried his head against Ethan's shoulder and sobbed. The strong arms that wrapped around him brought only comfort.

* * *

Buffy leaned back against the wall of the tube station. She had dusted eighteen vamps, but it wasn't enough. They never managed to wear her down. Some part of her kept fighting. She slammed her shoulder against the wall and shuddered as her shoulder popped back into place. It was better than another trip to the A&E.

There were four slayers in London, now. Where were all these damn vamps coming from, and why couldn't they fight worth a damn?

Going home and falling into bed sounded good, but Giles would be waiting for her. Dawn had let the cat out of the bag in a big way. He woulda been all over that. She sighed. There was nothing any of them could do. They had known Spike was back, but they hadn't gone to him to lift the curse. They hadn't let her know he was back, either. She hadn't gotten to tell him she loved him again, hadn't gotten a chance to convince him.

For a moment, watching Dawn model her hat, she had thought they might have forgiven her. Then everything had blown up. She had seen Giles' pain and lost it. She knew better than to let them see her suffer. It made the punishment that much worse.

She took a deep breath, held it. She deserved the pain. Her failure had cost them all. Tara, Anya, and Spike, all gone and all her fault. If she had stayed dead like a good slayer should, they would all be alive. If she had been quicker or smarter, she might have saved them all.

She bit her lip. Praying did no good. The pain never lessened. She needed a fight.

The tingly feeling on the back of her neck warned her that a vampire was approaching the nest she had just dusted. A straggler. Oh, joy. She rolled her weak shoulder and smiled. This vamp was about to have a very bad day.

* * *

Ethan watched as Rupert paced. The silver of his hair glistened in the ever changing glow coming from the fairy lights hisThis tree. The man was still something to behold. Ripper in his dotage would still inspire that quickened pulse and tingle of desire. This man, even in agony, held him in thrall.

The situation was dire. He could help, and he would. The girl he had tried to destroy was far too dear to Ripper. Letting her die would not serve him. He rubbed his chin. Rupert's happiness was reason enough, but maybe there was more to be gained. Perhaps they could find their way back to each other. Friendship would be better than the void between them.

He looked over at Rupert and considered his options. Information was always at a premium with Ripper, but there were ways of gaining it. He smiled. Time for a bit of fun.

"You have hundreds of girls now. What is so special about this one?"

"Hundreds of girls, and one Buffy. I know you blame her for my walking away, but she wasn't even an idea when I left. I love her."

Ethan took a deep breath. It hurt to hear his Ripper declare his love for the chit. He had known it, but to hear it said so plainly was another matter.

"I knew she was living with you, but I had no idea."

"No, Ethan." Ripper's green eyes widened. "I love her like she's my own flesh. She is my daughter. She is. Genetics be damned. She's mine, and I'm failing her."

"You haven't failed her. We can fix this." Ethan smiled. He appreciated the irony. The one creature in all the world that he had blamed for losing Ripper had brought him back. If he could be of assistance in saving her, Rupert would let him in.

"She's suffered for three years, Ethan. I don't think we have much time. She won't kill herself in a traditional manner, but she's the slayer."

"Getting herself into scrapes?"

"She's been hunting master vampires. There are none left in Europe or Asia. When a master that had been living in Australia tried to relocate here, she met his ship by herself."

"How many?"

"Thirty, plus the three hundred year old master. I would have sent in a flotilla of slayers, but she handled it alone with not one bit of dust making it to shore."

The sheer power of the girl would frighten most demons. Ethan rubbed the back of his neck. It was time to change his ways.

"I will find your solution, but there's always a price." Ethan watched Rupert eyes, looking for the flash of indecision, but it never came.

"We can deal with the price after we've saved her." Rupert ran a hand through his hair. "Ethan, I need your word that you won't play us. I'm putting my faith in you."

"You have it. She reminds me of you, brash and beautiful. I'm actually quite fond of the girl when I'm not jealous." Ethan smiled and shrugged. "Do you think she might come around to liking me?"

"It's possible, anything is with her." Rupert looked at his drink and tilted his head slightly. "Why?"

"Because I'm not sure I can let you walk away again." Ethan stood up and walked over to Rupert. Time to put his cards on the table. "I love you. Have for bloody ever."

* * *

Buffy moved towards home. Her energy levels were down and her injuries needed some time to heal. The overcast sky gave her no clue to the time of day. She sighed and trudged on, ignoring the odd looks she garnered.

She missed the Scoobies most at times like this. They had always been there to bolster her flagging spirits. She shivered. Things never got back to normal after she died The second time.

She closed her eyes and tried to summon up a mental image of Tara. Tara wouldn't have cursed her. Buffy sighed. There was no comfort to be had. Imagining the others in happier times never worked. They were gone and it was her fault.

Buffy took a deep breath. She looked over toward a group of young boys cavorting as they headed home. Her eyes caught the flash of something dark.

The muffled sound of a struggle drew her attention. She saw the shadow move and took off. Duty called.

* * *

Giles watched as Ethan drew the symbols meticulously on the floor. They had been at this for hours, but Ethan's hand was sure. Each move of the chalk was elegant. The man could make even the most difficult of magics look easy.

The sharp pull of power surged as Ethan began to chant. An image of Buffy swirled up from the smoke. She was wrapped in weights and chains like a Dickensian ghost. Giles swallowed and fought the urge to look away.

A form coalesced next to Buffy. It stalked around her, agile and powerful. The smoke Buffy fell to her knees and wrapped her arms around the beast. It rose in her arms, ripping away the chains.

Ethan collapsed, and the entwined figures lost form.

"I'm sorry, Ripper." Ethan rolled on to his back. "I had hoped for more information than that."

Giles knelt beside Ethan and propped him up. He water a glass of water to Ethan's lips.

"Actually, I think you may have helped quite a bit."


	3. Feast of St Stephen(Boxing Day part 2)

Daniel Osbourne rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. It was nice to be in a country with decent lodgings. He was even learning some Italian. None of it mattered though because sleep was still eluding him.

Things had been fine. His career allowed him to travel. He had mastered the power of his wolf. Being alone had been bearable.

He'd been to Sunnydale a year ago. Well, he'd stood at the edge of the crater, staying safely on the observation deck. It had been a whim. Just an odd urge.

The dreams had started that night.

The darkness, the screams, they were nothing. Just the flip side of his wolf dreams. He was used to them now, but sleep didn't come easy. No, because the darkness would fade and the screams would quiet, but she would be there, sobbing and alone.

Buffy. He swallowed. His wolf had always preferred Buffy, but he had never expected to dream about any woman other than Willow.

His first love with her quirky style and amazing mind had held him captive despite her infidelity with Xander. He had forgiven her. Easily. The wolf never had.

His own infidelity had brought the real terror of his dual nature to light. The security of his cage was only as strong as his tenuous control.

Willow had moved on, but he had been sure he never would. There had been a few women, when he was desperate for the illusion of companionship, but none of them had been more than a distraction. No one had moved Willow out of his mind until the dreams.

The dreams had changed everything.

Willow was a distant memory. A vague one at that.

As Willow faded, Buffy flared into full vibrant life. He could pull up her scent at will, warmed vanilla and a hint of cinnamon. The memory of her laughter would sound in his mind when something amused him. Images of her played through his mind most of the day, and music filled him constantly. He had filled notebook after notebook. He hummed the bit that had been playing through his mind lately, hearing it roar to life in his head.

Buffy was his muse.

He closed his eyes, losing himself in the music. Her golden hair flashed in his memory as she laughed and ducked his blow. Sparring had been Giles' idea,but it had solidified his place with the gang in high school. It had made him more than Willow's boyfriend.

The wolf had craved it, even then. The smell of her, sweat slicked and panting as they moved gracefully around the library, would fill him up. He had thought it was a response to the intense sparring. He'd been such a fool.

The phone's ringing startled him. He grabbed it and pulled it to his ear.

"Yes?" Who would be calling him?

"Oz." Giles' voice sounded in his ear and his stomach rolled. "I'm sorry to call you so late, but we've had quite the time trying to find you."

"Giles."

"Yes, well, we need you to come to London. Buffy is in grave danger and we believe you might be able to help her. I know you left for a reason. I wouldn't ask if there was another option." Giles sounded exhausted and the underlying dread in his voice had the hairs on the back of his neck standing.

"Don't think I'll have that problem anymore. I'll hop on the first available. Should be there sometime tomorrow." Oz flipped on the light.

"We'll send someone to collect you. The plane is waiting." Giles sighed. "I don't know if you've kept in touch with Willow, Xander, or Dawn but it would be best if you refrained from contacting them now."

"Got it." What the hell had happened? He had no contact with any of them, but they should be helping. Dawn had been so young when he was around, his memories of her were odd. He couldn't remember her scent. It made him uncomfortable. "How bad?"

"She needs you. Things, well, nothing is what it once was. I don't know where to begin."

"Don't. I have to pack." He wanted to see and smell Giles when he explained. Things were always easier that way.

"Yes, yes, your ride is on its way. I will meet you at London City." Giles sighed. "Thank you, Oz."

"It's Buffy." No other explanation was necessary. He hung up the phone.

There wasn't much to do. He had just gotten to Venice, so the normal sprawl of his belongings had yet to occur. The notebooks were still stacked neatly on the desk and most of his clothes were still packed in the duffle.

Oz glanced in the mirror. His hair was a little long, but it didn't matter. She needed him. Gods, Buffy needed him. A sudden image of her naked in the school basement flared to life. She had blushed, and he had been a gentleman. Damn, he'd been a fool.

He stood up and headed for the small bathroom. He needed to shave and clean up a bit. He also needed to think. A lot of water had flowed under and over the bridge since he had said goodbye to Sunnydale. Hell, the bridge had washed away and then sunk into the crater that devoured his hometown. He had to be prepared for the changes he would find. Well, accepting of them. Prepared would imply a clairvoyance he did not possess. He sighed and grabbed his jeans.

He had to get ready. They would be here any minute, and it didn't sound as if there was a lot of time to spare. He shoved his fingers through his hair and stepped into his jeans. There would be time to chase his tail later.

He focused on what was needful. Shaving and cleaning up took concentration. He rubbed the towel over his face and shrugged. It would have to do. He grabbed a fresh shirt and pulled it over his head. The cotton jersey fell into place. It still a smelled of that spicy soap he'd used in Istanbul.

The knock came as he shoved his notebooks into his backpack. He opened the door and smiled at the uniformed chauffeur. He'd been expecting a bespectacled, tweedy watcher type.

"Give me a minute." Oz smiled. "I'm almost ready."

"Of course, sir."

He looked at the millefiori pendant still sitting in it's box on the desk. He touched the smooth surface of the glass. Maybe he would give it to her. He closed the box and slid it in amongst the other treasures he had acquired. Each one of them was hers. Hell, he was hers if truth be told.

He turned and headed out of the room. It wouldn't be long. He sighed.


	4. The Feast Day of St John

Willow listened with half an ear as Xander and Dawn complained about Buffy. Their anger was understandable. Giles had kicked them out on Christmas Day. They were family and he had tossed them out. She gritted her teeth.

He had picked Buffy. He always did. He was her watcher.

She watched as Dawn started to shred the hat Buffy had spent so much time knitting. Dawn had become spiteful. Xander still made a show of caring, but the spell had damaged him as well.

She should have gone to Spike as soon as they told her he was back, but she had decided against it. Hell, she had kept Giles from telling Buffy.

It hit her like a physical blow. She looked at her companions and wondered what they had done three years ago and if it had stopped there.

"Buffy looked pretty rough. I've never seen her look so tired." Willow watched as both Dawn and Xander narrowed their eyes and glared at her. "I mean Giles was probably right. She needed some rest."

"She wasn't too tired to go out and slay." Dawn pulled another bit of yarn free from the mangled hat. "On Christmas."

"Buffy runs away. She always runs." Xander shook his head and drooped his eyes back to the comics Giles had given him.

"She didn't have to go and die. I could have handled that, but Buffy wanted out. I mean think about how whiny she was when you brought her back." Dawn looked over at Willow. "She should have been grateful, but she just wanted to run away again."

Xander nodded, but he didn't look up from his comic book. He wasn't like this when she visited him in Africa. What was going on?

She watched as they both retreated again. This had to be an effect of the spell. She sighed. Giles had the book, now. There was nothing she could do. She settled back into her chair.

* * *

Oz walked silently down the stairs. The place was huge. He'd stowed his gear in Buffy's room. The other rooms had bothered him. The slight hyena scent that always clung to Xander had grown stronger, maybe because his old friend lived in Africa most of the year. Interesting as the change in scent was, it annoyed his wolf. The strange scent of the other room had to be Dawn's, but he couldn't recall ever encountering it before. The puzzle of that kept him from that room, and Willow's room was out of the question. Buffy's room had smelled like the home he imagined when he considered settling in one place. He would leave it only when she asked.

Everything had changed so much. His world was tilting on its axis. Giles had explained all the sordid details of the spell on the trip here from the airport, but it didn't seem possible. He was still reeling from all the news. Giles was sure it had been Xander and Dawn, but Willow had known. She had known Buffy was in pain and done nothing. When had she changed?

He was so tired of magic. It made good people do stupid things. He came to the bottom of the stairs and followed the murmur of male voices.

He turned toward the library and watched Giles and and Ethan Rayne interact from the doorway.

"It's a nearly perfect spell." Ethan pushed the book away from his body with one finger. "It's a beautiful trap."

"I know that, Ethan." Giles sighed and handed him a cup of tea.

"The cure may be as difficult as the disease. I can't magic the words. The spells that went into making this damn book are as confounding as the ones that are in it. It's frustrating in the extreme." Ethan leaned back in his chair and glared at the book. "The wolf will have to read it for us. I hope this doesn't hurt her more. She's suffered enough. I can't imagine how she manages. I wish I could do more."

"You discovered Oz would be able to read the spell to break the curse. Let's hope it can be done without harming anyone." Giles sighed.

"Finding your wolf friend wasn't much of a contribution." Ethan shoved back in his chair. "And there is no way to be sure he's the one we need. I saw a wolf. You saw this Oz character. What kind of self respect can the boy have if he lets others yammer away at him with that bit of literary idiocy?"

"Oz is an interesting man, and he's the only werewolf Buffy knows." Giles took a deep breath. "Not that any of it will help if we can't find her."

"We will find her, Rupert." Ethan stood up and followed Giles with his eyes.

"She's out there. It's been two days." Giles looked out the window.

"She is the slayer." Ethan came to stand next to him. "She'll come back to you and we will keep her here until we can right this mess."

Oz took a deep breath. They hadn't noticed him, yet.

"She's missing?" He swallowed. Both men turned toward him.

"She left on Christmas Day. She hasn't come back." Giles looked at the ground. "Locator spells won't get us close enough. She moves too quickly."

"Get me close and I can trace her." Oz tapped his nose.

"You'll need to read the spell first." Ethan walked to the table and flipped open the book. "We can't. Only you. This book is the darkest thing I've seen, Wolf. Don't touch it. Just read it out loud and we will get things arranged."

"I remember what you did with the costumes and the chocolate." Oz tilted his head. "Why are you helping?"

"He's helping because I asked it of him. I asked him to save Buffy." Giles moved and put his hand on Ethan's shoulder. "He's helping because he loves me."

Oz nodded. He'd suspected that much from watching the older men together.

"Why are you helping, Wolf?" Ethan sneered.

"It's Buffy. She'd do the same for me." He smiled as Ethan nodded. There was no reason to tip his hand. "I need to read the book."

"Amazing what they train you animals to do these days." Ethan smiled thinly. The acrid scents of anger and frustration poured off him.

Oz raised an eyebrow and gestured to the book. There was no point in rising to the bait. Ethan wanted the distraction. Oz tapped the table and Ethan spun it, allowing him access to it.

"To break this curse be brave and true, share the burden between the two, only then shall it dissipate, and yield to that which is true fate." Oz looked up at Giles and Ethan. "This is really bad poetry not a spell."

"I'm sure it was lovely in the original demon language." Ethan snapped, irritation clear. "It's a true curse break. Bloody, buggering hell."

Giles closed his eyes. Pain was etched into every line.

"Somebody needs to explain." Oz placed his hands on either side of the book and stared at the older men. "This seems better than some spell that will go wrong."

"In that, it is. The problem lies in the vague language. If we had years and time to research we might discover what it is you need to do, but our best hope is that you will stumble on it." Giles sighed.

"Luck is a form of chaos." Ethan clenched his fists. "It can go either way. Buffy might not be able to survive if this falls to the bad. It's been three years of unrelenting pain. How she manages to function at all eludes me."

"She's Buffy." Oz shrugged. "It's what she does."

"I guess then the more pressing question becomes what you will do." Ethan stepped up behind Giles and placed a hand on his shoulder. "We must save her."

* * *

Kennedy hummed as she danced around her apartment in Cleveland. She had just finished a great patrol, a wonderful meal, and now she wanted Willow. It was a shame Will had chosen Christmas in England with her so called family, but the answering machine had given her some good news. Willow would be home soon.

The place needed a good cleaning. Willow didn't mind a bit of clutter, but things had progressed bit beyond that point. They should just hire a maid. There had to be someone they could find to clean up.

She grabbed some of the dirty dishes that decorated the coffee table and carried them to the kitchen. It sucked, but she could do a little cleaning for her lovely witch.

Willow was coming home. She spun in a happy circle and turned on the water. The dishes had to be done.

It would be so good to have her girl home to kiss on New Year's Eve.

She flipped off the water, added some soap, and started to scrub.


	5. Feast of the Holy Innocents

Buffy shoved herself into a small crevice in the catacombs. This was what you got when a city was older than dirt. Ruins buried under modern conveniences. Ruins filled with demons. Demons with razor like talons and a tendency to snatch little kids from the streets. She'd managed to free the kid. Should have stopped there. She shouldn't have followed the thing into this hole. She took several breaths. The tape was holding the slice along her thigh shut. She'd managed to slay five of the things before running from the nest.

Maybe their sense of smell sucked from living down here. The torch light flickered. She couldn't remember how to get out of here. There was a left and a right. Everything looked familiar but not familiar enough to lead her up into the living world. She closed her eyes. Slayers died alone. It was the way of things even now.

She had wanted to go down in a great battle, but an ancient sewer would have to do. She could hear the demons approaching, their talons sliding along the wall. There were twelve. Each with ten razor sharp talons. She bit down, fighting the cold and lethargy, andtried to remember what the sun felt like on her face. God, she wanted to die with a happy thought, but there was nothing.

She slid out into the narrow passage. They would have to come straight at her. Blood loss and hunger were her real enemies. She was weak. She clutched her short sword. She would go down fighting.

She wondered how many days had passed since Christmas. Giles was probably frantic. She hated leaving him with the mess of her life. She wiped at her tears. Blurry vision would not help her now.

The first demon came into sight. She could see the odd shine of its claws reflecting the torch light.

"You killed huntress, must die." The thing hissed.

"You feed off children. Pretty sure I'm gonna enjoy cutting you down." Buffy readied her blade. It wasn't the battle she wanted, but she would take as many of these demons with her as she could.

Life was precious, and she would spend hers lessening the threat to children. It was something, not stopping an apocalypse or killing off a master, but something.

The first thing launched at her with a bird like screech and she swung her blade. The splatter of its foul smelling blood hit her as the body fell. Her eyes were already focused on the next one.

Eleven now. She kicked the head of the first one behind her.

The second attacked with a swing of its feathered arm. Buffy parried and felt the sword hit bone and bite.

Lesson the First. She clenched the hilt in both hands and wrenched with all her strength, freeing the blade.

Buffy shifted her weight and thrust straight, skewering her opponent. Falling to her knees, she wrenched the sword up and back tossing the split carcass over her shoulder. She spun and sliced the oncoming demon in half as she regained her feet.

The floor was slick.

Three down.

Deep breaths.

God. What would Spike do?

The next demon hesitated. Buffy narrowed her eyes. A feint.

Spike would win and so would she.

Buffy let her body turn just enough to fool the beast. It rushed her side, thinking its ploy had succeeded.

That was four.

She advanced a step and drove the heel of her boot down into the dead flesh. It was better than slick stone.

Two small demons rushed forward, one perched on the other.

She held the sword over her head until they were within reach and brought it down. Hacking and swinging as the tunnel allowed, she advanced.

Six down.

Spin kick, and follow with the blade.

Seven.

Feint left. Swing right. Wrench the blade free.

Eight.

Advance. Three in the widest part of the tunnel. Breathe.

The demons charged. Buffy swung high, taking a head, both hands on the hilt of her sword. Talons raked her back. The warm gush of her blood was nothing. She kicked out like a mule and swung her blade at the opponent before her.

They circled her, black feathers and shiny talons reflecting blue and red in the flaring torch light. She limped and dropped the sword's point in sloppy circles. The flow of blood down her back was slowing, but she hunched, letting the light shine against the wet slick.

Draw them in. Have to take all three. Can't do this again.

She slumped a bit more and they stepped into range.

Too eager. The slayer is the weapon.

She spun high, snapped a kick at the largest, sliced through the throat of another and landed square on the chest of one. She plunged her sword in and sliced down, spilling viscera over her feet. The last one hissed as it regained its feet.

Stupid. Quiet. Woulda had a chance. She whirled and tossed her weapon with the last of her strength. She fell to her knees as the world seemed to fade around her.

Time faded in and out. She could hear the pounding of feet on the stone. She forced her eyes open, but couldn't turn her head.

"Buffy." Warm hands stroked her cheek and she smiled.

Heaven. Warm. Loved.

A familiar face appeared over her, Oz. He appeared to be taking note of her injuries. His touch was wonderful. She closed her eyes.

"Buffy, stay with me." He touched her cheek and she blinked.

"I won." Buffy grinned.

"Giles, hurry up. She's in bad shape." Oz looked over his shoulder.

"Bulgar Harpies, oh, dear lord. What was she thinking?"

"Kids. They eat children. Christmas." Buffy coughed. "Not on my watch. Get my sword."

She leaned into Oz's hand. He didn't hate her. He hadn't lost everything because of her. She sighed.

"Missed you." Buffy coughed and groaned as the gashes on her body pulled and bled.

"I missed you, too, Buffy." He stroked her forehead. "Gonna take care of you."


	6. Feast of the Holy Innocents part 2

"She won't take a pain killer." The Council's doctor came out of her room. "I'm not sure how she's still alive, but she will not go to the infirmary."

"I didn't imagine she would." Giles sighed.

"Her accelerated healing rate surpasses anything I've seen in the other girls." The doctor looked back at the door. "We should study her."

"Can't place your accent, mate. German?" Ethan raised a single brow. "The girl is not a lab rat."

"Are you implying that I am a Nazi?" The doctor drew himself up, a picture of offended dignity.

"If the lab coat fits." Ethan grinned.

"Ignore him." Giles glared at Ethan. "He likes to cause trouble."

"Yes, sir." The doctor rubbed his hands together. "I have antibiotics for her and pain killers. I doubt she will take them though. She seems uniquely determined to do this her way."

Oz nodded. It made sense. The pain wouldn't be relieved for long enough to make a difference. Why risk addiction? He caught Giles' eye and gestured toward her door, but he didn't wait for approval. She was his to protect now.

He moved quietly into the room. Buffy was cleaned up and dotted with bits of gauze. The flannel night gown she wore concealed the worst of it.

"Have they moved on to the death wish part of the discussion?" Buffy fretted with her sheets.

"No. This one would have been cool with Walsh and her set." Oz sat on the bed next to her.

"The we should study her set. I usually just slip by them all, but Giles doesn't care for my duck tape solution." Buffy shrugged.

"The pills?" He watched her.

"Not a problem, but they could be." She looked toward the picture on her nightstand. "I can't get sloppy. It's one thing to go down in a fight. It's another to do it when you're blitzed, ya know?"

Oz nodded and took her hand. She sighed and closed her eyes. He stroked his thumb across her knuckles.

"Don't let go." She squeezed his hand gently. "You being here is of the good."

"I'll stay." He pushed her hair back behind her ear. She looked so frail and small resting against the bright white of the pillow case.

"It's nice to see a friendly face. Nice to see your face. I've missed you, Oz." She smiled. "I needed a plan for the humus offensive on more than one occasion."

"Messy."

"Battles are." Buffy closed her eyes. "So, what brings you here? I mean I'm not so vain that I think it's me."

"It's you." He smiled. "Turns out I'm your curse breaker. Just haven't figured out how to do it."

"Is that why it feels better when you touch me?" Buffy squeezed his hand again. "So nice."

"Might be."

"I don't deserve to be free of it." She shifted on the bed and looked away from him.

"Do you want me to go?" He moved to leave her, but her fingers clutched at his hand.

He ignored the slight discomfort. It wasn't as bad as shifting, and the desolation on her face was far more painful for him. What had they done to her?

"You should run away from me as fast as you can. Everybody that stays winds up hurt. I'm no good." She closed her eyes and slid her hand free of his.

"We live in a dangerous world. It isn't your responsibility to save us all." He touched her shoulder. "The world is full of slayers now, but it only exists because you fought for it, because you stood up for it alone."

"It wasn't me." Buffy shook her head and rolled away. "You should talk to Willow and Xander. They can tell you."

"I don't have to hear what they have to say. I know." He took a deep breath. "I know you did everything you could. I know that you would change places with anyone that didn't make it if you could. I know you."

He stared at her back, somber minor cords filling his mind. Talking wasn't working. She didn't want to be helped, didn't believe she deserved tilted his head and took a deep breath.

Humanity complicated things. The wolf's nature was simple, pure. She needed comfort. He would provide it.

Toeing off his sneakers, he climbed on the bed behind her and spooned his body along hers. Buffy stiffened for a moment and then went limp against him. He rested one hand on her waist and tucked the other under the pillow they shared. The minor chords faded out and a bright note of triumph heralded the return of her usual refrain.

"It's gonna get better, Buffy." He felt her shiver. "I promise."

"You'll get hurt." She settled her hand on the top of his and slid it down to her hip.

"My choice to stay. I want to help you, and I'm tougher than I look." He growled softly to remind her that he wasn't human.

"I'd never underestimate you, Oz." She sighed and snuggled back against him. "I just want you to be safe. I want to have one friend that doesn't look at me in disappointment."

"If I ever do, kick my ass because it'll be some kind of possession." He rubbed her hip gently

"Oz, you can't say that." She sounded tired.

"I just did. I meant it, too. Now get some sleep."

"You're gonna stay?"

"Yes."

"Don't we have stuff to talk about?"

"Yes."

"But you want me to sleep?"

"Yes." He stroked her side with his hand.

"Will you be here when I wake up?"

"Yes, but you have to sleep now. You need it."

She nodded slowly, rolled over, pushed him over to lie flat on his back, and fitted herself to his body. He trailed his fingers through her hair and hummed. Sleep claimed her moments later.

The door opened. Oz craned his head to see Giles and Ethan standing just inside the room. The relief on Giles' face was palpable.

"She's sleeping." Giles' words escaped him, a whisper, almost a prayer.

"And they say not just anyone can become a watcher." Ethan pulled Giles from the room with a gentle hand and a wink.


	7. Feast of St Thomas á Becket

Willow knocked on the door to Giles' place. It bothered her. She had tried the door and found it locked for the first time since she had known the watcher. Being kicked out had stung, but being kept out, forced to beg entrance, was far worse.

The door swung open and Giles considered her. He didn't step aside or invite her in. She swallowed.

"I know I should have come to you earlier. I was so wrapped up in getting my life back on track."

"No excuses, Willow." Giles took a deep breath. "You have a responsibility to the Council if not to your friend. You would have told me immediately if any of the other girls was cursed, yet Buffy has suffered for three years without so much as a peep from you."

"I know." She wrung her hands. "Something is off with me. I had no part in the curse, but it's affecting me. I need your help."

"Let the little witch in, Ripper. There might be something to learn from her after all."

Willow swallowed as Ethan Rayne came in to view. What the hell was going on? She was out here begging and Ethan was on the inside. It didn't track.

"Come in, Willow." Giles stepped back to allow her entry. "Keep your voice down. Buffy is sleeping."

"What? Why is she still asleep?" Willow looked up at the two older men. "It's half past three."

"Our girl went on a slaying bender." Ethan smiled fondly. "Christmas, Boxing Day, all those bloody feast days, and she was out there doing her duty. Found her this side of death yesterday. She'd just finished off a nest of Bulgar Harpies. Made quite a mess of herself."

"She was out there slaying for days?" Willow looked to Giles for confirmation.

"Buffy wouldn't have survived if we hadn't found her. The catacombs are full of vermin both demonic and everyday. They would have eaten her alive. She was too weak to walk." He took off his glasses and began polishing them. "We must break this curse."

"Then we need to do a spell to see how many spells are actively working on her." Willow swallowed. "Because I'm pretty sure there are some at work on me and Dawn. I think someone has been working on us for a long time."

"Explain." Giles sat forward and stared at her intently.

"Well, Xander isn't as angry or as cruel as Dawn. He's just not caring about Buffy the way he should. I think it's because he's in Africa most of the year and not so easy to locate."

"The boy's nature might be naturally kinder than Dawn's." Ethan shrugged.

"No," Giles sat back rubbing his chin. "Xander isn't naturally sweeter than Dawn, but there are other possibilities. It's worth examining."

"I'll do the spell." Ethan stood up and smoothed his pant legs. "It's easy enough to verify this theory. If there are multiple spells working on the witch, we will check Buffy."

"Why Buffy?" Giles pulled his glasses off and started polishing again.

"I find the compulsion to slay interesting. There's nothing in the spell that should result in that behavior." Ethan smiled. "But compulsions do reveal so much to the observant eye in some cases quite literally."

"Ha, bloody, ha." Giles grinned and shook his head.

Ethan smirked as he left the room.

Willow looked away. This whole situation felt wrong. She was Buffy's go to girl, her best friend, and, now, she was standing on the outside while Giles and Ethan Rayne of all people protected Buffy.

"Giles, is there anymore soup?" A familiar voice echoed from outside the room. "Buffy's hungry, well, willing to eat."

Willow turned. It couldn't be. She froze as he came into view, barefoot and unshaven.

"Oz?" Willow took two steps toward him. He looked tired and rumpled.

"Hey." He held up his hand in a quick greeting.

"I didn't know you were planning a visit." She smiled. "It's good to see you."

Oz nodded at her, rolled his shoulders, and turned to face Giles, cutting off any possible conversation.

"Soup?"

"On the stovetop." Giles smiled. "Take her some of the cake Ethan made. She might eat it."

"Ah, chocolate." Oz's lips quirked to the side. "Worth a try."

He left without looking at her again, without a word to her. His bare feet padded across the carpets as if he had lived here for years.

"He's here to help Buffy. I called and he came." Giles stood and touched her shoulder. "Don't make a fuss."

"Don't make a fuss?" Willow turned and looked up at Giles with her fists clenched at her sides. "He barely acknowledged my existence. I used to be his everything."

"But, he was never yours despite the drama. Let this go, Willow." Giles said softly.

"He was. He was everything to me." She stomped her foot. "I loved him."

"You loved the idea of him and you loved having someone special of your own, but he was never your everything. If he had been, Tara would never have been able to interest you." Giles stared at her for a moment. "She was your everything."

His lecturing tone became a drone in the background of her thoughts. No actual words got through. Even his patient tone blurred beyond recognition.

Pain lanced through her. Goddess, how she missed Tara. Every day was hard, every day was mourning. The peace of just sitting beside her and reading a book was better than anything she'd had since Tara's death.

Kennedy was a fine sexual partner, but they had little else in common. Their relationship had been born in high drama, but now it was a convenience. She'd been planning to break it off after the holidays.

Maybe, after Buffy was okay, Oz would consider spending some time together. It wouldn't be Tara, but it would be nice.

"You must see that?" Giles stared at her expectantly, so she nodded.


	8. New Year's Eve

Buffy shifted on the bed. It was harder to rest at night. Duty called and all that jazz, but Oz had one arm secured around her waist. His arm was enchanted. It had to be magic. Nothing else made sense. She'd been in the bed for days now, and he had stayed with her, his wonderful arm holding her close. Buffy smiled. It made things better. Pain lessened, dreams stayed away, and the strength in it was surprising. She ran her fingers along his muscled forearm.

He had changed in their time apart. He was still quiet, but she could see the assurance of a man in him. She didn't even need to squint. He was warm and strong and guarding her back. She didn't deserve this. There was no way this could be good for him, no way she could be good for him. She bit her lip. She was being so selfish.

"Stop it, Buffy." His sleepy voice murmured. He tightened his grip on her a bit, not enough to hurt her.

"What? I'm just lying down here with you." She shifted around to face him. His hand slid to her hip. "I'm not doing anything."

"You need to rest." He stroked her hair back behind her ear and met her gaze steadily. "Let the other slayers handle things for a while. Okay?"

"They shouldn't have to be out there. This used to be a one girl in all the world thing. I took so much away from them. They don't get their regular lives." She felt her eyes going misty. "I'm pathetic. I cried about my fate for years, and then I go and dump it all over hundreds of other girls. Yeah, we won the battle, but we are losing the war."

"What are you talking about?" Oz stared at her. He was actually listening. Giles never did. He said it was the depression talking. Willow never even got past her own yeah me's. Buffy felt a moment of honest happiness. It startled her.

"It's balance. That whole yoni and yang thing?" She nodded to see if he was following.

"Yin and yang." Oz smiled, an actual full on grin. "The principle's are similar, but they mean very different things."

"Okay, but you get what I'm saying?" She bit her lips.

"I'm keeping pace." He raised a brow.

"One girl in all the world balanced things. It sucked, but it was fair. When the population grew it should have become maybe twenty girls in all the world. They would have lived longer. Hell, they would have had a chance. Demons would have had a lot fewer good days. The balance wouldn't have pushed so much to evil." She took a deep breath. He was still listening. "Now, I've swung it too far the other way and evil is building to answer the call. The end of the world, fire, brimstone, super nova, whatever, it's coming because the balance whacky."

"I follow the theory." He nodded. "What do you want to do about it?"

"I want to take it down to about thirty girls. I want to release the ones that hate it and the ones that can't cut it. I want to balance." She bit her lip. "But they don't listen to me anymore. Everybody's so in love with winning, but they aren't seeing the long term."

"Let's get this curse lifted, and we'll make them see it." He rubbed her hip gently.

"You'll help?"

"Kinda why I'm here." He grinned again and she smiled back.

"You should go. It's safer to be no where near me." She fastened her eyes on his chin. "Spike had my back those last few months in Sunnydale. Giles tried to kill him. Xander treated him like shit. Even Dawn was bitchy. He went and got his soul for me, and I didn't get it until the very end. I loved him and he burned up."

"He chose to do something amazing for you. Don't diminish the gift." Oz curled a finger under her chin and raised her gaze to his. "He loved you. Let that be enough for a while. Think about the love and not the loss."

"If he had believed me, he would have found me in Rome. He would have come for me." She ignored the hot wash of tears on her face. "He didn't have to die like that again."

"I'm sorry. I know you loved him, and I know that doesn't help." He pulled her close and pressed a small kiss against her temple.

"It's been a long time. I let him go. I did my grieving. I'll always miss him, but part of him stays with me. When I fight, when it's bad, he's there in my head. He's there keeping me going. I would have gone down so many times if it weren't for him." She pulled back and gave Oz a watery smile.

"I think I love him, too." Oz chuckled. "Anything that keeps you alive, I love."

"It's almost a New Year." Buffy smiled and pointed to the glowing green numerals on her alarm clock.

"A new beginning for all of us." Oz nodded.

"I've never done this." Buffy blushed.

"Never done what?"

"I've never rung in the new year with a guy." She blushed and dropped her eyes to his profile. "I mean not that we're like together or anything, but it's strange watching the clock count down while we're here in bed together."

"Happy new year, Buffy." He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her.

His lips were gentle and warm. She could feel the strength in his body, peaceful and waiting, but it was there. He was human but more so, like her.

She could hear the distant sound of people celebrating. She wanted to shout out with them, but that would end the sweet press of Oz's lips on hers. It was a new day, a new year.

She rolled back slightly and Oz moved with her. He dropped his hands from her face to brace against the bed. Reveling in the feel of his body pressing her down on the mattress, she opened her mouth slightly, an invitation.

Oz accepted, and their tongues clashed with long glides and teasing swirls. She raised one hand to play in his hair, holding him to her. He was so hot, even through their clothes. His body felt like living flame as he rocked against her. She whimpered as he pulled his lips from hers.

He smiled at her with a hint of male pride, and she blushed. How could he do that with just a look? Looking up into his eyes, she felt like a woman, not a slayer. She touched him, traced his lip with the pad of her thumb.

"Happy new year, Oz." She whispered.

"New day, new year, new beginning." He rolled back to lie beside her and pulled her close. She stroked her hand over his beating heart and settled against him. He pressed a kiss to her temple and stroked the well worn flannel of her shirt against her back.

New beginnings meant the possibility of new endings, but it was already far too late. This was real. She shivered. He pulled her closer and fished up the blankets to cover them.


	9. New Year's Day

Xander watched Dawn pace and rant. Her hands flew about as she punctuated her words with cuts and slices. Sometimes she sounded like Buffy. He smiled. He missed the Buffster. Back before the spell, she had been one of his girls. He supposed she still was in a way, but she never laughed at his jokes or hugged him anymore. Yeah, he missed her, but people grew apart. That was life. He sighed.

"It's just a meal, Dawn." Willow rolled her eyes. "Giles isn't asking you to stop the next apocalypse."

"He kicked us out and he thinks a stupid meal will make it all better?" Dawn tossed her hands up in the air. "You have got to be kidding me."

"He's her watcher and I had just told him you cursed her. Try to understand. He was doing his job." Willow grabbed Dawn's arm. "He loves you."

"Then why does he want me to have a meal with my whiny, weepy sister?" Dawn flopped down into a chair. "Hell, the holidays are over."

"He just wants his family together." Xander sighed. "We can deal. She won't break down again."

"She'd better not."

Xander looked out the window at the grey sky. He missed the burning sun and wide skies of his new home. Things were clearer there.

* * *

Ethan watched the wolf and the slayer as they sparred in the garden. It was a beautiful display. Their bodies blurred as they moved, but it was still more dance than battle.

"I had no idea he could move like that." Rupert touched the small of his back. "He used to be stronger and slightly faster than a human, but he has honed those skills far beyond any level I believed he could attain."

"He moves like our girl." Ethan leaned back against Rupert's chest.

"Our girl, is she?" The heat of Ripper's breath warmed the shell of his ear.

"I've decided to share her with you." Ethan smiled as Rupert's deep chuckle moved them both.

"So, the past in the past, we move forward together?" Rupert slid his fingers under the hem of Ethan's sweater.

"It's what I want. We'll keep your slayer happy and alive and her wolf will fill her belly with babies for us to spoil."

"What a lovely imagination you have, Ethan." Rupert pulled him around so they stood face to face. "I think I would very much love the world you see."

Rupert's fingers moved in small circles on his forearms. Those warm green eyes he'd been dreaming of for far more years than he'd care to admit narrowed as Rupert smiled. Ethan slid closer and their lips met all too briefly.

"Afraid she'll see us, Ripper?" Ethan cocked his head to the side.

"No, Buffy would never begrudge me a lover, not now." Rupert shook his head. "This thing between us only works if the chaos is tempered, Ethan. I don't want it to end because her safety trumps your religion. Can you live with that?"

"Managed chaos only." Ethan sighed. "I'll miss it a bit, but I see my future with you."

"I'll talk to Buffy as soon as we get this situation managed. I want her to know about us, but I want to handle it right." The weight Ripper's hands on his shoulders was delightful.

"I know." Buffy smiled at them. Giles spun around awkwardly. "I have a curse, but it doesn't make me blind. I've known about your relationship since the Halloween costume debacle. I really can't blame you Ethan. My watcher is one yummy example of manhood. Stay off the evil crap train and we're good. Okay?"

"I promise to avoid the evil crap train." Ethan laughed, nodded, and held up his hand.

"And you gave me shit for Spike?" Buffy rolled her eyes at her watcher.

"I did far worse than that, Buffy. I'm sorry." Rupert's hand shook as she closed the distance between them in that startling speed of hers. She hugged Ripper and reached out one hand to him.

"If you need to hex someone go after my real Dad, okay?" She smiled and winked at him. His breath caught. Chaos had destroyed his world and rebuilt it. He winked back and grabbed her hand.

* * *

Kennedy hated the plane. Oh, it was nice enough, but teleporting would be so much better. Of course, the one time she needed an excuse to travel so quickly none had presented itself.

She smiled politely at the waitress and nodded. Willow needed her. This stupid family vacation had been a bad idea from the start. She should have talked Willow into a ski vacation or a Christmas in the sun and sand somewhere where clothing was more optional than not. Anything would be better than this mess in England.

It was always about Buffy. Everything always came back to her. Buffy was still The Slayer. The rest were just slayers. Kennedy wrinkled her nose in disgust. Even she was just one of the crowd.

* * *

Giles smiled as Buffy ate her third bowl of split pea soup. Oz sat beside her, one hand resting on her back while he paged through a book. The casual intimacy of it was appealing. He grinned thinking of Ethan's earlier wild speculation.

Buffy took a bit of bread, dipped it in her bowl, and popped it into Oz's mouth without missing a beat. The werewolf glanced up at her and smiled. His fingers spread wider on her back and pressed in a bit harder. She leaned back into his touch with a sigh.

"Thanks for the bread."

"Well, you make me eat." Buffy grinned. "It seemed fair."

Oz shook his head and nodded toward her bowl. She scooped up more soup and made a production of slurping it down. Oz ignored her antics.

Giles leaned back against the counter and relaxed. There was reason for hope. She was eating and smiling. These were good things.

"Where's Ethan?" Buffy smirked up at him.

"He's preparing. The spells aren't complicated, but we have to check Xander and Dawn." Giles frowned. "The spells at work on you are bound into the initial curse. Those may fail when we figure out what Oz has to do to break it, but the spells acting on Willow are subtle and we have no idea what they are doing to her."

"Is that why you didn't just break them?"

"Partially. We chose not to explain the intricacies of what we discovered to her because she might have done something rash." Giles sighed. "I'm hoping that Dawn or Xander have traces of similar spells. We might be able to trace them back to their source."

"You're going to triangulate with magic? You can do that?" Buffy and Oz were both focused on him intently. It was slightly unsettling.

"Willow has greater power, but delicacy eludes her. We have experience on our side." Giles shrugged.

"And a certain debonair flare." Ethan smiled from the door. "I've found something interesting."

Ethan walked into the room. Giles examined his lover. The magic he'd been working had taken a toll.

"Sit down before you fall down, Ethan." Buffy kicked out a chair and nodded to it. "Do you want some tea?"

Giles was already getting the cup when Ethan nodded.

"It seems someone has been using Miss. Rosenberg's power against her." Ethan sighed. "It has to be someone she trusts. It isn't easy to leech power and these are delicate spells. The culprit has most likely done this before. It's a pity. The skill and focus required to do these spells would have served your cause well if it hadn't been perverted."

Giles felt like he'd been punched. Someone was using magic against those closest to him.

"It could be one of them." Buffy swallowed. "Willow trusts Xander and Dawn more than anyone else."

"The spells on her are intricate." Ethan tapped the table. "I've met the boy. He wouldn't have the touch."

"Dawn is far too affected." Giles sighed. "It's going to be someone else."

Buffy nodded, but he could see the pain and doubts swirling behind the façade.

"So, the curse isn't a one off." Oz looked down at his book and frowned. "If this is a campaign against Buffy and the others, we may be running short on time. The person behind all this could cover their tracks before we act."

"Yes." Ethan nodded. "We need to break the curse as soon as possible. The side spells should dissipate with it or, at the very least, weaken."

"I think I know how to break it." Oz looked down at Buffy's hand.

"How?" Buffy turned and grabbed his hand. Oz looked up into her eyes.

"What do you have to do?" Giles sat next to Ethan.

"We have to talk first. This is her decision." Oz rested his hand on Buffy's shoulder. "She's had enough things decided for her."


	10. New Year's Day part 2

Oz rubbed the back of his neck and looked at Buffy. She was sitting on the widow seat in her bedroom. The grey skies behind her seemed to frame her in sadness. He wanted to growl. This was wrong. He knew it was wrong, but he could help her. The choice had to be hers.

"Oz, just tell me." She stood up and grabbed his arm. "If it's something that could hurt you I won't do it. You have to know that."

"I've always known that." He pulled her close, grasping both of her forearms just below the elbow. He smiled when her fingers closed around his. They stood, eye to eye, equals. "I knew it in Sunnydale. It's part of the reason I left. I knew you wouldn't kill me if it came down to it. You'd have twisted yourself into a thousand pieces trying to save me for Willow, so I left to find a way to save myself."

She nodded. Her eyes were the deep, eerie blue of the sky before a big storm hits. The music was playing through him, expressing so much more than feeble words ever could. She bit her lip. He swallowed. Words, they were inadequate. They would fail and she would try to free him. She was always the strong one, but that was at an end.

He let his hands slide up her arms. Her burden, her fate, they were his. He would never leave her. If she chose this half life it would be painful. If she chose to let him go, to fight him, he would be alone and she would die. There was only one solution.

He threaded his fingers into her hair. She rolled her head into his hand, offering him her throat without thought. His body reacted instantly. He yanked her close, kissed her throbbing pulse, and rolled his hips against hers. She whimpered and rocked into him with her own. He pulled his mouth from her neck and held her tightly, panting into her ear.

"I'm sorry, Buffy. I was going to give you a choice, but I can't. You'd try to protect me." He pulled back and looked into her wide eyes. She shook her head.

"I don't understand." Her hands clutched at his shirt.

"You will." He stroked one slightly elongated finger down her cheek. She leaned into his touch. He could smell her, ripe and alive. He stroked her gently. They couldn't wait. He spun her around and pulled her back against his chest. "I love you, Buffy. I have for far longer than I have time to explain."

She shuddered and reached one hand back to tangle in his hair. He spread his fingers out over her womb and pulled her even tighter. His claws were formed and he could feel her trembling through them. He flexed them into the denim of her pants through her wool sweater.

"I need you to say yes, Buffy." His voice was low and gravely as his jaw shifted. "I need you to say it and understand."

"Yes." She pulled away from him, using her strength to gain a few precious inches, and pulled her sweater off over her head. He kissed her bare shoulder and raised his hand to her chest, feeling what he could not see. She was so soft. Her breast filled his palm.

He wanted to fondle her, wanted to make it good for her, but the wolf was drowning him. He nuzzled her neck and shoved her toward the bed. She half fell across it. He clawed at her jeans and she helped him push them down past her knees. He splayed one hand between her shoulder blades and held her down. Buffy arched under the pressure and moaned, writhing on the bed.

"Please, Oz." She bumped back against him and tossed her head. The blonde cascade of her hair across his hand drew his eyes. He turned his hand and wrapped the silken tresses around his fingers. He managed to shift his clothing enough to free his cock.

"Buffy." It was more growl than word. He stepped between her legs and pulled her up against him by her hair. "I love you. Make you mine."

"Yes." The hot scent of her total acceptance hit him.

He nudged his way between her legs and held himself steady. Poised against the wet heat of her, he pulled her head to the side and nuzzled her neck. She relaxed, and he slid a bit further into her folds.

Rubbing his rough cheek along her shoulder, he let the change surge through him a bit more. His senses sharpened. He licked his way along her jaw. Pressing the flat of his tongue her against the frantic throb of her pulse, he closed his eyes. This was his, the life in her was his. He opened his mouth on the back of her neck, his elongated jaw allowing for good purchase.

She clawed at the bed and whimpered. He held her steady with his hands and teeth. He was in command. She shuddered and begged her human words becoming barely recognizable sounds. He bit down and thrust in at the same moment. Her body stretched around him and twisted under him.

He growled and she stilled. This was his. She had to submit. She went limp and he moved, ramming into her. She mewled and arched her back, opening her body further to his assault. He growled around her neck and slid one hand from her hip to the front of her folds. He slid his fingers in feeling his own length sliding in and out. He drew one claw against the swollen pearl and pressed hard. She shuddered and screamed, clawing at the bedding beneath her.

He felt the swirling power flowing up from inside him as she quaked. He released her neck and forced them up onto the bed. He curled behind her as his body swelled. She moaned.

"Oz." She pressed back against him. "What's happening?"

"Claiming." He kissed the shell of her ear. "Lasts for a while. I can't pull out."

"Have you done this before?" She shivered as he pulsed inside her.

"No, this only happens when a wolf is with his mate." He stroked her side, trying to soothe her. "This is a first for me, too."

He jerked inside her, and she grabbed his hand. He could hear her panting. He rubbed his fingers in circles above her womb. It wouldn't be long. Hell, it could be now.

"Can we try this face to face?" She giggled. "I'd love to be kissing you right now."

"Next time." He smiled and pressed a kiss to the back of her neck.

"So, start talking. You said it was my choice, but I'm getting a different view of the decision making process." She tightened her muscles on him and he groaned. Her sweat slicked body slid fractionally away.

He growled as her breath caught.

"Don't hurt yourself, Buffy."

"Oh, god, we really are joined at the hip." She slid back against him. "How long will this last?"

"I've read differing accounts, I think we just have to wait it out." He kissed her shoulder.

"So, quickies are not going to be our thing." She giggled.

"I'm sorry it had to be like this. I would have given you the choice. I planned to do so when we came upstairs, but you would have done the noble thing." He shuddered against her as his body continued to fill hers.

"I thought matings were mutual." Buffy moaned as their joined bodies shifted.

"Yeah, with vampires they are. It takes consent. Wolves are different." He felt the flutter of her body around his and pressed his forehead to her shoulder. "We are alive. It comes with drives. The push to find and secure the best mate is one of the strongest. Force isn't an issue in wolf culture. The wolf picks its mate. My wolf wanted you from the first."

"So, why did you ask me to say yes?"

"I needed it. I knew you would accept me eventually, but I needed it as a man. I needed to know you wanted me." He sighed as his body began to return to normal. "I'm sorry I forced the bond on you. I know you didn't know what was happening between us. Mating is about submission and sharing. You are strong enough to fight me. You could have stopped it, but you accepted me."

He nuzzled his face against her shoulder. It was almost time to face the music, quite literally.

"So, the neck biting is a one time thing?"

"If you want it to be." He rubbed her neck gently, trying to ease any residual soreness. He would miss the primal thrill of the dominant act, but Buffy deserved the right to refuse it. He kissed the nape of her neck and rested his forehead against her golden hair.

Buffy sighed and caressed the back of the hand resting under her navel. A shudder passed through his body at the easy acceptance implied by her touch.

He slid from her body and she sighed. It must have been a relief for her to have it over. He wanted to pull her close and reassure her, but this whole mess was complicated. He could feel her pain as the bond set. He let it flow through him. Her fights were his now, her pains and worries as well.


	11. New Year's Day part 3

Buffy felt his body slide from hers with a pang of regret. She bit her lip. Should she bring up the very real possibility of pregnancy? He sighed and pulled away from her. He had to know, and things were crazy. No, there was enough to talk about. It could wait.

She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths. It was time to face the music. She grinned as her eyes slid over his guitar propped in the corner of the room. It was their room now. It had been from the first. His things had found places in the space naturally, A jacket on a chair, a notebook on the desk. Now, she just had to convince him that they had found their place together as naturally.

Her body felt wired, but the constant pain was gone, just gone. She flipped around and stroked his hair back from his face. She could feel the curse breaking apart. He had freed her from it. She pressed her lips lightly against his, pressing him on to his back. She slid astride his waist and bit back a groan as her core pressed against his defined muscles.

His eyes were closed.

"So, I'm yours and you won't even look at me?" She flicked the dark rose of his nipples with her fingers. "Is this buyer's remorse?"

His eyes flew open and she covered his mouth with the tips of her fingers. She didn't need the words. It hadn't been a serious question. Nothing hurt. She smiled down at her mate and stroked his chest, pushing off the remnants of his shirt.

"So, you decided to take my choice away and now I'm mated to a werewolf." She tapped the index finger of her free hand against her chin. "You think I should be upset. Don't you?"

He nodded, and she pushed back further on his firm abdomen.

"I'm not." She dropped forward so her breasts flattened against his chest. "I'm a mess, Oz. I'm not going to lie to you. I have more baggage than a cruise ship."

"I tend to travel light, but I have some luggage of my own." He smiled and twisted his fingers in her hair.

"Are unilateral decisions going to be an issue? I understand why you did this, but let's talk in the future. I need to have a say in my own life." She touched his jaw with her finger tips. "The pain is gone, but I'm worried about the damage this has done to all of us. Dawn and Xander, if this surged back on them, I don't know how to handle that."

"I understand, Buffy." He stroked her back. "I'm not in the habit of making decisions for other people, but the nature of the beast is to protect you above all things. Your burdens are mine, now. I feel your pain as well as your joys. It complicates things."

"Why don't I have that? Why can't I feel your pain?"

"You're human, mostly. The bonding is different for those with fixed natures." His fingers trailed along her sides. "I felt the pain of the curse for a few minutes before the spell broke. I can't imagine living like that for years."

"I didn't have a choice. I couldn't do the counter spell and give it back to them tripled."

"No, you wouldn't." Oz touched her cheek with the tips of his fingers. He was being so incredibly gentle. "So, what do you want to do now?"

"What do you mean?" She tilted her head coquettishly.

"We are mated. That's permanent. I made that choice for you. I don't want to force anything else on you."

"I haven't made any plans in a very long time. Well, non slaying plans anyway." She stretched up along his body, trying to entice her mate into some unplanned fun.

"Buffy." Oz rolled his eyes and stared up at her. Adoration, exasperation, delight all came through loud and clear. How did he manage to express so much with just her name? She sighed. He deserved an answer, but she was so bad with words.

"I'm not sure what I want and I don't know much, right now. The thing I do know, the thing I'm sure of, is you." She pressed her lips against his. The sweet promise of it surged through her. This man was the calm in her storm. He would be her steady center. They broke the kiss and stared at each other, breathing in unison. "This is all pretty sudden, but it feels like something we've been doing for years."

"I know." Oz nodded. "But, there are things we need to talk about."

"I'm not avoiding a conversation." She bit her lower lip, sinking her teeth in hard. They had to talk about it all. "I'm not on the pill."

"Yeah, I know."

"You know?" Buffy pushed up and looked down at him with raised eyebrows.

"You don't smell of it." He took a deep breath.

"Can you smell if I'm pregnant?"

"Not yet, but there's a good chance you are." His green gaze held hers steadily.

"Let me guess." She pressed a hand to his chest. "You can smell the fact that I'm ovulating."

He nodded and looked very serious. That wouldn't do. She wanted him to be happy.

"I'd like it." She pressed one hand over her womb. "I know it's saddling us with a big responsibility right away, but I would like to make life for once."

"I love you, Buffy." He rolled them and pressed her into the down comforter. "I have for a long time. I just wasn't ready. The wolf picked you when we were in high school, but I didn't understand."

"I wasn't ready for this kind of commitment back then. No matter what I believed. I still wanted a fairy tale." She ran her fingers through his auburn hair.

"You're mated to a monster. Seems pretty Hans Christian to me."

"Do you still see yourself as a monster?" Buffy stroked her hand down his back and locked her ankles behind his thighs.

"I am a werewolf. I'm not a human with an odd condition. I'm the wolf all the time." Oz tried to ease away from her and she tightened her legs on his hips. "Pretending that I'm just a regular guy is dangerous."

"I'm the slayer all the time. So, we're the same, more than human with good camouflage." Buffy pushed her fingers up into his hair from the nape of his neck, splaying them along the back of his head. "And, you are not gonna hurt me. I know that."

"Buffy." He sighed as she rubbed his head. "I just wish this could have been something we both wanted."

Buffy growled and jerked his head down to hers, fastening her lips to his. He was her mate. He had made her his. There would be no walking away or moaning about it. She arched her body up into his in blatant invitation. If mating was a dance of submission, she would submit 'til he couldn't think straight.

Oz shuddered and pulled his lips free. He shook, taking giant gulping breaths of the warm air around them. His body was responding to her blatant invitation, but his mind was resisting. It was so clear from the look on his face. She wanted to growl at him. He was losing this moment to regrets when there should be none.

Buffy rolled her hips and arched her back, but he was holding himself from her, sinking in guilt. It wouldn't do. She arched her neck, baring it to him. She let a breathy mewl escape her lips and felt his body shake against hers. He kissed her throat gently resting his lips against her throbbing pulse.

"Oz, please." She rolled her hips up against him again.

He pulled away from her with a sigh. She sat up and looked at him. She wanted him to push away her fears, but it wasn't fair. He loved her as a man and a wolf, but this was new to her. The whole thing shocked her silly, but it felt right. Oz felt right.

"So, you love me?"

"Yes, I do, Buffy." He turned to look at her. "The wolf side of me has since it first met you. The human side came around over the last year."

"Why didn't you come find me?" She slid closer to him. "Why stay away if you loved me?"

She sounded so pathetic. Gods, how could she blame him for staying away?

"I left Sunnydale years ago, Buffy. We were never together. It would have been presumptious of me to show up making declarations." Oz pulled her next to him. "But I would have found you soon enough."

"No, not soon enough." She pushed her body flush against his. "I missed you and I didn't know it."

He pulled back from her embrace and raised an eyebrow.

"You made the right choice." She cupped his cheek. "I want to be your mate. I didn't think there would ever be anyone after Spike, but I'm so glad there's you."

She kissed him, twisting her fingers in his hair. Oz. He filled her up. She broke the kiss and stared into his green eyes. The pain was gone, and there was something warm and wonderful in its place.

"I think I love you, too." She whispered. She traced his eyebrows with her fingertips. "I love you, Oz."

He growled and pushed her back into the pillows. The bedding slid and slipped around them as his lips crashed against hers. Serious conversations would wait for a while, maybe a long while.


	12. Feast of Basil the Great

Buffy heard the frantic pounding on the door as she came awake. Oz's arm tightened around her waist. He grumbled as she shifted around to greet him with a kiss. He looked adorable as he blinked up at her. She dropped a quick kiss on his lips.

"I think we have company." She grinned. "Someone was knock, knock, knocking."

Oz nodded and sat up. The sheets slid down his chest and Buffy considered climbing right back into bed. Oz smiled at her and shook his head.

"Don't even think it, Buffy. Giles is probably ready to drag you out of here by your hair. We spent all afternoon and night in bed."

"We weren't in bed the whole time." She stuck out her lower lip and gave him a playful pout.

"Having sex on the window seat doesn't count and neither does the floor." Oz flipped the sheets back and stood up. "If Ethan hadn't put a tray outside the door we would have had to go after food before this."

"I suppose we do have to poke our heads out and tackle the real world." She leaned back against the door to the bathroom. "But, we need to get clean first."

Oz shook his head and followed her into the bathroom.

* * *

Giles fussed with his robe as Dawn sobbed and Xander paced. They had called repeatedly the night before, but Oz and Buffy had not emerged from their room. He swallowed as he considered going up to check on them. Ethan had insisted on giving them some time together, but Buffy would want to comfort her sister and her friend. He glared at his hands and rubbed his palms flat against the warm surface.

"She is here, right?" Xander looked at him with haunted eyes. "I mean, we were supposed to have dinner today. Right?"

"Yes, Xander. You were supposed to come for dinner in six hours." Giles sighed. "Your merry band refused to come on New Year's Day."

"Yeah, yeah, we were wrong to do that, but where is she?"

"She's upstairs getting dressed." Oz leaned against the door. "I have ground rules for the both of you If you want to see her."

"You can't keep me from my sister." Dawn snarled. "She'd hate you if you tried."

"Possibly. Not for long though. So, I can keep you away, and I promise I will if I think that she might be hurt by either of you again." Oz crossed his arms across his chest.

"Oz, man, it's us. We're her family." Xander moved toward him with his hands out.

"Yeah. I know what you are to her." Oz sighed. "And, I know what you have done to her. She's been hurting for a very long time, and I know you're sorry. It sucks all around, but she deserves to be happy. She shouldn't have to feel guilty or breaking a curse you laid on her. I don't want her to feel obligated to you in any way. I know she'll accept your apologies, but, if you can't put on a happy face for her, leave now."

"You were around for like five minutes when I was little. You don't have the right to come here and tell me what to do." Dawn glared down into Oz's eyes.

"Actually, we're meeting for the first time." Oz smirked. "You make a lovely first impression by the way."

"Dawn is Buffy's sister." Xander moved next to Dawn, placing a hand protectively on her shoulder.

"I don't need the clarification, Xander." Oz looked at both of them and raised a brow. "I'm not challenging her status."

"Then what are you doing?"

"Protecting Buffy." Oz sighed. "You hurt her, and not just this once with the curse. You dragged her out of heaven and sat in judgement of her afterwards. Hell, you kicked her out of her own damn house. Then, while she was aching over the loss of her lover and loyal friend, you cursed her. I know you want to apologize. You owe her, but keep your pain to yourself."

"He has a point, Xander." Giles sighed. "Have any of you ever admitted to being wrong? It was your actions that allowed the First to gain so much power."

"Not mine." Dawn crossed her arms across her chest and glared at Giles.

"No." Giles stood. "That can't be laid at your door, but you punished her for not being able to be what you needed. She died for you, and you acted like a petulant infant at every turn."

"You ran out on her. You tried to kill Spike. Hell, you put her through that awful test." Dawns advanced toward him with her hands planted firmly on her hips. "So, don't look down your nose at us."

"He's not." Oz growled and all three of the humans turned toward him. "He's making a point. Buffy deserves better from you. She's had it from him. Their relationship is repaired. You have miles to go. Now, are we going to talk like the adults we are?"

Giles shivered as he considered the wolf standing in his home. It was easy to assume Oz was still the same as he had been years before, but it was wrong.

He swallowed as he watched Oz move to a chair. Buffy had a strong arm at her back again. He smiled and relaxed.

* * *

Ethan knocked on Buffy's door. Giles might still be denying what was happening between her and the wolf, but he had no such illusions. The curse was broken, but the mating wouldn't make her invulnerable. He touched the small pendant in his pocket. It wouldn't offer much protection, but it would turn back the worst of spells and curses.

"Should have known it was you." Buffy smiled and leaned against the door. "Giles would never have waited so patiently for me to answer the door."

"He hasn't come to the full realization that you have acquired a rather permanent roommate." Ethan shook his head. "Congratulations, by the way."

"Denial isn't just a river in Egypt." Buffy giggled and blushed as Ethan raised a brow at the rumpled bed. "Don't tell me yours looks any better."

Ethan laughed and moved his hands in an intricate pattern. The bed made itself.

"Now they match, my dear." Ethan smirked. "I always make my bed."

"All the better to lie in it?" Buffy raised an eyebrow and twitched her lips.

"You know it." Ethan snapped his fingers and they both dissolved into laughter. It was the kind of silly moment his life had been missing. He pulled Buffy into a hug. "Thank you for giving me a chance."

She hugged him back. Janus, she was strong. He gasped for breath and she let him go.

"Sorry." She blushed and shrugged. Damn the girl was charming.

"I have something for you." He pulled out the pendant and let it dangle on its chain. "It's enchanted to repel strong curses and magic."

"Pretty and purposeful. It's a hard combination to beat." She touched the iolite stone first and slid her finger to the fire agate.

"Yes, it is."


	13. Feast of Basil the Great part 2

Willow stretched in the bed next to Kennedy. It had been so nice to have her show up out of the blue. She rolled on her side and looked at her lover's face. Even in sleep she looked tense, ready for battle. Willow tied the sash on her robe.

They'd been together for years, and it was good. She sighed. It was good, but it wasn't enough. They didn't meld. They were two pieces, but they didn't make a whole.

Goddess, she missed Tara.

She swallowed and slid from the bed. It felt wrong to cuddle one lover while wishing for the one that still held her heart. Kennedy deserved better than that from her. Looking out the window, she held back tears.

She should end this thing with Kennedy. It wasn't going anywhere, and it wasn't enough.

"Willow, come back to bed. It's cold here without you." Kennedy sounded sleepy and warm, but there would be no cuddling. Kennedy didn't do cuddling.

"You have jet lag, Kennedy. It's past noon. We should get up." Willow turned and smiled. She would have to end it soon, but how could she break up with Kennedy after she had flown over here just to be with her?

"So, what are we going to do out of bed?" Kennedy flopped the covers back. "It's grey and wet outside, and I've seen the sights."

"You've seen these sights, too." Willow smiled.

"Yeah, but that's a tour I never get bored with." Kennedy rubbed the bed next to her. "Come back to bed."

"Let me check on Xander and Dawn. We have dinner over at Giles' tonight. They're probably in a snit." Willow slid towards the door.

"But I missed my witchy woman." Kennedy grinned. "Come on. Put me under your spell."

Willow closed her eyes as Tara's voice played through her head. Goddess, this was torture. She smiled and shook her head.

"This will just take a minute." She waved and scampered out the door.

Dawn and Xander would give her some distance from the situation. They were always good for the buffering. She saw Xander's unwashed breakfast dishes and rolled her eyes.

"Xander. Dawn." Her voice sounded too loud in the unusually quiet suite. "Where are you?"

No answer. She looked for a note, but there was none.

"Willow, they probably went out for lunch. They knew I was here, so they didn't disturb us." Kennedy leaned against the door jamb, naked but for a gold necklace with a garnet pendant. "We could order some room service and take advantage of their consideration."

"They should have left a note." Willow glared at the empty counter. "Their probably trying to avoid going to Giles' tonight."

"Probably, but I can't blame them. I mean the old guy is fine, but the homage you all pay to Buffy can get old, really old. I mean she's a slayer just like me, but you act like she's special."

"Buffy is my best friend. I don't pay homage to her." Willow shook her head.

"Then what was this little trip all about?"

"I wanted to spend the holidays with my family." Willow rested her hands on her hips.

"Where are Mr. and Mrs. Rosenberg? Because I'm pretty sure they're off at some conference in Boston. Isn't that what the letter said?" Kennedy curled her lips and waved her hand at the window. "I'm pretty sure that isn't Boston out there."

"No, it isn't. Giles, Buffy, Xander, and Dawn are my family. I chose them and they chose me." Willow tightened her robe. "It's important, they're important."

"You've been with me for three years, but you didn't invite me to your family gathering." Kennedy stalked toward her. "When will I be good enough for an invite? When do you choose me? I'd sure as hell like to know."

Willow glared at Kennedy.

"I'm not perfect like your precious Tara. Hell, I'm just a thing to you. Pick me up when you need to get off, set me down when you're done. We have toys you like as much as you like me." Kennedy slammed her fist on the counter and cracked it. "I can't even get second place with you. No, there's Buffy. Poor hurt little Buffy. If she had done her job and stayed dead, I'd be the one girl. I'd never be your girl, but I'd have that."

"Do you want to know why she's the slayer? Hell, do you want to know why Faith is the slayer? Yeah, they both own the job. They define the job. Your just one of the crowd. You clean out fledglings and your muscle in a tight spot, but you are just a slayer. Without the crowd, you'd be dead inside a month. Cursed, in pain every damn moment, Buffy hunts big game. She's a legend and she deserves it." Willow snarled. "Tara was everything to me. I would have ended the world for her. When the call comes, and it will because you aren't that good, I'll make sure to send some flowers for your grave. Now, get the hell out of my room."

"Make me. Show me what a bad ass witch you are. Come on. Do it." Kennedy tossed her hair over her shoulder and beckoned her with her her fingers.

Willow shook her head. This was not right.

"That's right. You're a full on white hat now." Kennedy sneered. "You won't use your powers for personal reasons. Too bad I don't feel the same way."

Willow's eyes widened as Kennedy came toward her with fists clenched. This was so not what she had wanted.

"Kennedy, you need to stop right there." Willow called forth her power. "I don't want this and neither do you."

"Shut up. You don't know what I want." Kennedy raised her fist.

Willow used her magic, but it didn't work.

Kennedy's garnet pendant started to glow. She grinned and stopped advancing.

"Thanks, Willow. I'm gonna have to drain you dry this time." She shook her head and stroked Willow's face. "Sorry about the paralysis. It's my little secret. The stone will hold your power for me to use as I see fit."

Kennedy plucked her up and carried her into the bedroom. Willow wanted to scream, but she could barely breath.

"Yeah, let me make you more comfortable. I let my first watcher out of it before the drain was complete. He blubbered all over me. I'm sorry this is going to hurt. I'll make the end quick." Kennedy stripped the robe off of her and stroked her gently. "Wanna see if I can get you off before I kill you?"

Willow felt fingers delving into her body.

"It's gonna suck finding a new witch. You really were a treat." Kennedy bent down and sucked on one of her nipples. "I could just wipe your memory and keep you. what do you think I should do?"


	14. Feast of Basil the Great part 3

Buffy watched Dawn with eager eyes. It was nice to see her sister looking back at her without the hatred. The ever present sneer was gone. She settled back against Oz's arm and smiled. This was good, so good.

She was happy despite the conversation and the rampant stupidity. Dawn shifted and looked toward Xander as he paced the room.

"So, you're living here?" Xander eyed Ethan.

"For as long as the more permanent residents allow." Ethan nodded.

"And you're both okay with this?" Xander glared at Giles and then turned to face her and Oz. "Have you lost your mind? This is Ethan Rayne."

"He stays, Xander. This isn't your house and you have no say in what goes on here." Giles stood and placed a hand on Ethan's shoulder.

"But he's done so many bad things." Xander waved his hand at Ethan. "Tattooing Eyghon's symbol on Buffy, Band Candy, Halloween, and Fyarl Giles. Do any of you even remember what he's done?"

"I know the list. Giles has a longer one." Buffy sat forward and looked over at Ethan with a shrug. "He's one of the family now. Just the way it is, Xander."

"You've added a lot of people to the family." Dawn coughed and slid forward in her seat. "I mean where were they at Christmas?"

"Leading their own lives. When Giles called them and asked them to help, they came." Buffy stood up. "You two are family to me. I want that, but you don't get to sit in judgement of other members of my family. Are we clear?"

Dawn looked to Xander. They were so suspect of everyone's motivations. Buffy rubbed the back of her neck and considered her options. They weren't going to agree to let Giles and Ethan make with the mojo. She looked between them. Her slayer senses flared.

"Not everything's kosher in Denmark." Buffy looked over at Giles and he nodded.

"What the hell does Denmark have to do with anything?" Xander stopped and turned to look at her. "Please, tell me why I should trust these guys."

"You don't have to trust them." Buffy grabbed his hand. It was damp with sweat. "To be honest, I don't care if you ever do, but you're going to let them do this spell or we are done. You worked black magic on me without a thought for my feelings. I've been nice about it. I'm willing to put the past behind us, but you must do this first."

"That's coercion, Buffy." Dawn crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm your sister. You can't be done with me."

"Actually, I can. I had things split off for you two years ago. You aren't dependent on me anymore. I wanted to be sure you had everything you needed without any hassle." Buffy sighed and let go of Xander.

"Why would you do that?" Dawn looked at her with wide, watery eyes.

"I didn't plan to be alive at this point, Dawn. I started going after big game when you left for college. I kept a little money, but I transferred everything else to you. You had a future and I had a past. It was that simple." Buffy shrugged.

"So, you were trying to die?" Giles asked with a sigh.

Xander paled and Dawn looked like she wanted to puke.

"No, I was trying to do my job to the best of my ability. I am what I am for a reason." Buffy looked at Oz. "I thought my life was over, my purpose was gone. There was all this pain. I had to do something. I wanted to go out in battle, yeah, but I wasn't trying to die. If I had, the Immortal would have taken me out."

"That's a fine line to walk, Buffy." Giles left Ethan and came over to her. "I would have been destroyed."

"That's why I didn't offer Drusilla my throat and beg her for relief. She would have taken me beyond saving and I still could have staked her." Buffy hugged Giles. "I couldn't give up and I couldn't live. Thank you for giving me a home again. It helped so much."

"What does any of this have to do with letting them do spells on us?" Xander looked markedly uncomfortable.

"It doesn't, but you're both gonna let them do this. You're gonna do this for me, or I'm gonna knock you both out and they are gonna do it anyway."

"You had an awful lot to say earlier, Oz." Dawn snarled. "Cat got your tongue?"

"I sure hope not." Buffy smiled from ear to ear. "I have a lot of use for it."

"Yeah, your bodyguard's real fond of laying down the law." Xander glared as Ethan and Giles started chanting.

"He's not my bodyguard. I don't need a bodyguard." Buffy laughed and put a hand over her stomach. "At least, not yet."

Oz raised an eyebrow and the corner of his mouth curved up slightly. It was a private look and Buffy paused, lost for a moment in the joy of it.

"What the hell do you mean by not yet?" Dawn looked from Buffy to Oz.

"We need to shelve that discussion for a later time, my dear." Ethan Frowned as he looked into a bowl of water. "The individual that put these spells on your family is currently draining young Willow down."

"Willow can take care of herself." Dawn shook her head. "And even if she couldn't Kennedy got in late last night."

"Someone close to her but having limited contact with Xander." Giles sighed and slumped. "It had to be a slayer. Damn."

"What does that mean?" Dawn and Xander spoke at the same time.

"We can't all be perfect." Buffy smiled. "I'll try not to kill her."

"You can't kill Kennedy. She's our friend." Dawn glared at Buffy. "Tell her not to do this, Giles"

"Could someone please tell me what's going on?" Xander turned to Giles.

"No." Giles looked at Buffy. "Are you sure you can handle this?"

"Lift the spells." Buffy yanked open the closet and grabbed the scythe. She closed her eyes as its power pushed through her. "I'll go save Willow. Oz, you with me?"

"Saving the ex? I can swing it." He nodded.

"Great, grab an axe." Buffy pulled their coats out and tossed his to him.

"Don't need it." Oz tilted his head as he slid his jacket on.

"Yeah, yeah." Buffy slid into her jacket and stowed the scythe in its guitar case cover. "Lesson the first. You've always got your weapons."


	15. Feast of Basil the Great part 4

"Dawn." Buffy stepped into the room and left the door ajar. "Are you here? I was hoping we could have a talk."

It was a ploy, plain and simple. She needed to get Kennedy out into the open.

"Willow? Xander?" She sighed. "I know you guys have dinner plans with Giles tonight. I was hoping we could talk before that. Please."

"Wow, Buffy, you just missed them." Kennedy came out of the bedroom to the left wearing the sweater Buffy had knitted for Willow. "I think they were going shopping for a gift for the old guy. Willow had convinced them they needed to apologize or something."

Buffy looked down at the ground, and rubbed one booted toe against the other. Draw her in. Make her feel confident.

"Haven't seen much of you since you left for Rome. You never come over the visit those of us manning the hell mouth." Kennedy flicked her hair back over her shoulder.

"I think seven slayers can handle it. I manned one by myself for years." Buffy looked up at Kennedy with a glimmer of anger.

"Yeah, you did. Didn't you?" Kennedy leaned back against the kitchen counter. "But you had back up. I mean Willow, Xander, Dawn, and Giles were there with you. Oh, and Anya, Tara, and others, too. Right?"

Buffy slumped down a bit more and let the anger coil inside her. Kennedy was enjoying the game. How had they all missed the sadism just under the surface of this girl?

Buffy felt her pendant warm against her skin.

"You need to pay more attention to your duties." Kennedy's voice was pitched low, and she held something clenched in her fist. Buffy shivered as the magic tightened around her. "You need to move away from Giles. Be independent. Try South America. Good hunting there."

Kennedy was looking at her intently, and a sudden spark of memory flared. She remembered having a conversation with Kennedy just before they left for Rome. She'd been playing with her necklace then too.

"You need to make those poor people safe. It's your responsibility."

Buffy nodded slowly as if accepting the other slayer's words. The warmth of her necklace against her skin pulsed, radiating heat in waves through her body. She took a deep breath as something within her responded and the heat within her grew stronger. She took a deep breath and smiled as Oz's concern and love flooded through her mind. She could sense him in the hall, waiting. That was easy with her slayer senses, but now there was more. She couldn't fight the smile.

"You think they need me in South America?" Buffy tilted her head. "Or will just any slayer do? I mean one like you that only takes on the minnows."

"You will not talk to me like that." Kennedy snarled and moved toward her. Ethan's amulet pulsed against her skin as it repelled another magically laced suggestion.

"Are you gonna be the one that stops me?" Buffy shook her head. "I don't think so. You see, I read the reports, every one that comes in on every slayer. Yeah, I've been fighting alone these last three years, but you haven't. You've been leaning on the other girls and leaving the big bads for Faith. You are lazy or afraid? Either way, it won't be you that takes me down."

"You think you're so hot, but you're a joke. The girls all giggle about it. You and your vamps, Buffy the Vampire Layer. Too bad they're all dust, must be lonely." Kennedy pushed away from the kitchen counter. Buffy caught the glint of metal in the other slayer's hand. A kitchen knife, how charming. "I was the one that kept them from telling you your precious Spike was back. Do you miss him? Does it ache deep inside?"

"Really? You're going with the emotional attack?" Buffy shook her head and moved further into the room forcing Kennedy to retreat. "That's just so original."

"You should have died." Kennedy snarled.

"I did. Twice." Buffy smiled. "May be third time is the charm, but it won't be you, not today, not ever."

Kennedy rushed her, and it was simple.

Buffy stepped away from the arm with the poorly concealed knife and feinted toward the other arm.

Kennedy smiled and swung the short blade out. A quick strike to her wrist sent it clattering across the floor.

Buffy felt Oz enter the apartment. She spun to face him and caught the scythe that he tossed to her, nodding to the room she thought Willow was in.

"You can't touch me with that. You won't kill a human." Kennedy's disdain was clear in her tone.

"I don't need to touch you with it. I've been living with it for three years, fighting with it. I know this weapon." Buffy spun the shining red weapon in a circle. "I know what it can do."

"You can't take me in a fair fight." Kennedy slid to the side, trying to move closer to the door. "At least not fast enough to save your precious Willow."

"That's what gets you. Isn't it?" Buffy moved to stop her. "It's all mine, the fame, the friends."

"Let's not forget the pain. I made sure you've had your share. Your little amulet might be buying you some pain free time, but it won't last. Mine was given to me by a vengeance demon."

"Yeah, figured that. The grimoire didn't have a trace of Anya on it." Buffy knocked Kennedy back with a casual wave of the flat side of the axe blade.

"You can't know that." Kennedy stepped back and stumbled over one of Xander's shoes.

"Sure I can, Kennedy. Anya made a lasting impression in more ways than one. She had a scent made for her exclusively. Always wore it. Didn't Xander ever tell you about it?" Buffy smiled. "So, when did you meet Halfrek?"

"I have no idea where you get these ideas." Kennedy's floor widened artfully.

"Nope, I knew Hallie. She wasn't so bad. She helped Dawnie and me in her way." Buffy shrugged. "Friend of a friend, you'd understand if you had friends."

"What do you want from me?" Kennedy glared at her.

"Willow's in bad shape, Buffy." Oz stood in the doorway. "I'm not sure it's safe to move her."

Buffy noticed Kennedy's grin and the shift of her hand toward her pendant. It was all pat and parcel of the same stupid magic. She pulled her necklace off and tossed it to Oz.

"Get that on her. It should help." She swallowed as he nodded and turned back toward the room.

"So brave and so sacrificing." Kennedy smiled. "But without your trinket you're useless. The curse won't let you hurt me, and I still have all her power. Let's talk about South America again. Right after I kick your ass."

Kennedy came at her then, and Buffy blocked her strikes easily.

"You can't fight me." Kennedy tried to kick her and Buffy evaded the blow.

"I haven't tried to fight you, yet." Buffy grinned. "Let's see how it goes."

Buffy threw a series of punches landing each one. Ribs cracked and nose bleeding, the other slayer stood stunned.

"You can't. It's not possible." Kennedy wiped at the blood pouring from her nose. She stared at the blood on the back of her hand in shock.

"Curse is broken." Buffy smiled and snapped a kick to Kennedy's jaw. The other slayer swayed on her feet for a moment, holding her chin.

"Spike's dead. There's no one to love you left. I made sure of it."

"Turns out, I'm very lovable." Buffy knocked Kennedy to the floor and pressed her knee on the brunette's sternum.

"No, the curse can't be broken. I made sure it was foolproof."

"You don't deserve to be a slayer." Buffy pressed her hand over Kennedy's mouth. The scythe tingled against her senses and suddenly power was flowing into her, through her. Buffy rolled her shoulders when it stopped and yanked the necklace from around her throat.

"That's mine." Kennedy tied to get up and sprawled when her legs failed.

"Pretty sure it's Willow's, but you keep the sweater. I'll knit her a new one." Buffy stood and smiled.

"What did you do to me?" Kennedy fell again.

"I guess I cursed you in my own way." Buffy nodded as Giles came into the suite with a recovery team. "I took my power back from you."


	16. Feast of St Genevieve

Buffy staggered back into Oz and Giles when Dawn crashed into her. Incoherent words were flowing so quickly that Buffy gave up trying to follow along and just enjoyed the hug. Words could come later.

"Is Willow going to be okay?" Xander asked quietly.

"There's no way for us to know yet." Giles closed the door. "The coven member with her now said Buffy saved her life by giving her the amulet, but the extent of the damage will have to be ascertained as she recovers."

"We should get over there." Xander moved toward the door.

"They sent us home for a reason, Xander." Giles grabbed his arm. "They are trying some delicate spell work. They need space and time to focus."

"I can be quiet, Giles." Xander pouted.

"No one has denied that, but your aura is distracting. Let them do their thing." Giles pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger.

"It's okay, G man. I'll behave." Xander's shoulders drooped.

"Must you continue with that horrible epithet?" Giles glared at him.

"Yeah, I must. You wouldn't love me nearly as much if I wasn't so annoying." Xander grinned. "That's a fact."

"An interesting theory." Ethan smirked. "I believe you have some groveling scheduled for this time. Leave Ripper alone."

"So, the whole you with Ethan thing wasn't part of the evil slayer's plan?" Xander looked to Giles with his hopeful puppy expression.

"Can you go a day without a curse on you, Man?" Oz shook his head.

"Uhm, yeah." Xander sighed and looked at Buffy and smiled with half his mouth. "Sorry doesn't really cut it. I mean, wow, I'm a horse's ass."

"I'm so sorry about the spell, Buffy." Dawn pulled back and looked down into Buffy's eyes. "Please forgive me? Please?"

"Nothing to forgive, Kiddo." Buffy stroked Dawn's face. "I want us to move on and be happy. Okay?"

"It seems like I'm getting off too easy." Dawn smiled. "I mean you should so be making me grovel."

"Yeah, well, I missed three years with you and everybody else. I don't want to spend the next three making you jump through hoops." Buffy shrugged.

"I think we might deserve five year sentences." Xander came over and patted her back. "We owe you some heavy groveling. The wicked wizard is right about that."

"Xander, apologize right now." Buffy pushed free of Dawn's hug. "Ethan saved the day. He is part of this family and you will not call him names in his own home. Get me?"

"How did Ethan save the day?" Xander looked over at Giles and Ethan. "He was here removing spells from us."

"He gave me the amulet that saved Willow's life. Kennedy was draining her dry. The amulet bought her time enough for me to fight Kennedy." Buffy smiled at Ethan warmly.

"I'm sorry, Rayne, Man." Xander smiled and his eyes lit up as the new nickname presented itself.

"I think I might prefer the wicked wizard bit." Ethan complained.

"I certainly enjoy it." Giles laughed and hugged Ethan.

"So, I guess he's a permanent addition?" Xander sighed. "I'm gonna have to defend my snarking crown."

"There's a crown for court jester?" Ethan grinned and rolled his eyes. "Americans."

"Is there food? Slayer metabolism will not be denied." Buffy smiled. "Some of us were out all night making the world a safer place."

"As it so happens, I did over cook this morning." Ethan smiled.

"Thank you, Ethan, from the bottom of my stomach." Buffy grinned and looked to Oz. "Race you."

They ran ahead of the others and stopped in the kitchen. Buffy wrapped her arms around Oz and giggled. He stroked back her hair and tucked it behind her ears.

"No more removing protective charms in the middle of a battle, okay?" His eyes were somber despite their playful race.

"Okay." Buffy squeezed him gently and pressed her lips to his. He smirked as she pulled back.

"You can do better than that." He growled and pulled her close.

"What the hell is going on here?" Xander shouted and pointed directly at them.

"Well, we made it to the kitchen first and decided to celebrate." Buffy grinned.

"Yep, we are really hungry." Oz smirked and tightened his hand in her hair. "I mean there's the fighting and the not fighting. We need fuel."

"There's not fighting? What kind of not fighting would that be?" Dawn looked at them with wide eyes.

"The very best kind." Buffy grinned and leaned her forehead against Oz's.

"You're together?" Xander looked between them and nodded. "I can see it."

"How did you know?" Giles looked at Ethan and raised an eyebrow.

"Keen observation and a willingness to see it." Ethan smiled. "You have a father's eye."

"Does that mean you have a mother's eye?" Buffy smiled as she pulled away from Oz and grabbed plates for the table.

"No chocolate chip pancakes for you." Ethan huffed playfully.

"I meant debonair uncle's eye." Buffy smiled and grabbed his hands beseechingly. "You can't be so cruel as to take away my chocolate. Please."

"You might want to watch the chocolate, Buffy." Oz whispered against her ear. "Wolves don't do well with it."

Buffy whirled around and looked at him with wide eyes. She pressed her hand against her stomach.

"It's a thought." Oz shrugged.

"Crap." Buffy flopped down in her seat. "Make me a plate, Oz."

He smiled and nodded, piling two plates with sausage and eggs. Buffy sighed. No chocolate for months.

Oz hummed and reached out to hold her hand. The warm glide of his fingers on hers sent a thrill through her entire body. Oh, yeah, no chocolate was so worth it.

"Buffy, you've got to try these." Dawn took a huge bite of the pancakes. "They're delicious."

"I'm sure. Ethan's wonderful in the kitchen." Buffy nodded to him. "But I need to eat healthier foods until I gain some of my weight back. Hey, do we have any fruit?"

Giles tossed her a pear and raised an eyebrow at her. He wasn't blinded by fatherly affection at the moment. He smiled and nodded thoughtfully. She was so going to hear about this later. She looked around her and smiled. It could be so much worse. She could handle a lecture or ten. She grabbed a croissant. There was nothing bad about croissants.


	17. Feast of Elizabeth Anne Seton

Oz stepped into the small study and stared at Giles in his natural setting. The room seemed almost stereotypical. There was the roaring fire and the old leather bound books. The tapestry hanging on the wall behind the desk was a nice touch. The slayer in all her medieval glory. How long had the Giles family been serving the slayer?

Giles tilted his head, waiting as Oz looked around. The man did power well. Oz swallowed nervously.

"Giles, do you have a minute?" He sighed as Giles nodded and shuffled papers on his massive desk.

"I always have time for family." The edge to the final word made it very clear that Oz's inclusion in said family might be in doubt.

"I've been working on the words for hours, but nothing says it the right way." Oz looked up at him and then just slumped into a chair. "I haven't felt so unsure of myself in years."

"I imagine the dichotomy of your existence has made this situation far more difficult than it need be." Giles sat in the chair next to him.

"Actually, my dichotomy isn't a problem. I've come to terms with what I am." Oz took a deep breath. "I am the wolf and the human all the time. I retain control because I no longer force myself into molds that don't fit."

"Buffy's human." Giles tilted his head.

"For the most part, she is, but she's a predator, too. I suppose you see dichotomy there as well." Oz shifted in his seat and looked Giles square in the face. "Or maybe you don't. Buffy is good at disguising that side of herself."

"I've known about the nature of slayers longer than I've known Buffy." Giles pursed his lips. "She does do an exceptional job of concealing it. Have you bitten her?"

Oz shifted in his seat. This was not a conversation Buffy would appreciate. It was unavoidable, but she would hate it all the same.

"I'm answering this because I get it." Oz took a deep breath. "I have bitten her, but I haven't broken her skin."

Giles nodded, but Oz could see the question in his eyes.

"It makes a difference." Oz shrugged. "The magic in the bite isn't necessary for a mating. I didn't have to make her a wolf."

"Then why is she avoiding chocolate and caffeine?" Giles steepled his fingers and touched his lips with them.

"We are fully mated." Oz swallowed. This was agony, talking about such private matters.

"How exactly is that a response to my question?" Giles took his glasses off and began polishing.

"She's avoiding them because not all wolves tolerate chocolate well." Oz closed his eyes, hoping Giles would let the topic rest.

Silence stretched between them. Oz swallowed.

"You didn't take precautions?" Giles's voice exploded in the small room. He stood and moved to stand by the fireplace. "How could the two of you be so irresponsible?"

"There aren't a lot of options, Giles." Oz grimaced. "There are herbs she can take in the future. I can get them, but she'll need to be on them for a lunar cycle before they're effective. We didn't have that kind of time."

"You could have continued on as you were." Giles crossed his arms across his chest. "You could have waited for a month."

"We might have been able to do that, but it doesn't matter. Might haves aren't constructive. I have no regrets, and Buffy is happy." Oz smiled. "She wants to be pregnant."

"So, you're sure?" Giles fussed over the garland on the mantle.

"No. The hormonal changes are subtle this early on. I should be able to smell it soon though."

"You sound certain." Giles moved back toward him.

"She was ovulating. I could smell it." Oz met Giles' narrowed gaze. "The chances are good."

"She knows." Giles sat.

"She knows." Oz smiled. "She's happy."

"She's happy?"

"Yes, she hums when I play lullabies. She perks up when there are babies on the television. She even showed me an add from one of her magazines because she liked the baby's outfit. It's adorable."

"She'll need to take it easy for a bit." Giles smiled. "That will be challenging."

"Should be fun." Oz rubbed his hands on his jeans. "Which is all I want to say about that. I don't need the nightmares at the moment."

Giles chuckled.

"I realize that we have done this all very quickly, and I accept that you may have reservations about our relationship." Oz took a deep breath. "But, I love her. I have for longer than I realized, and I want your permission to ask her to marry me."

"Damn, I owe Ethan five quid." Giles shook his head. "How does he figure all this out?"

"I have no idea how he does it, but I..." Oz bit his lip.

"You need to know how I feel about you marrying my slayer." Giles frowned and his brow creased. "Do you have a ring?"

"No. I have picked up trinkets for her along the way, but nothing like that." Oz shook his head. "I never imagined her accepting me."

"Would you like to look at the family rings?" Giles smiled and Oz felt dazed.

"Family rings?" Oz managed.

"The Giles family ends with me. Buffy is my heir. The rings will be hers one day, as will most of the family jewelry. Tradition is important to me. More so as I age. I would be honored if you chose one of them for her."

Oz nodded. Words weren't enough at the moment. Giles put a hand on his shoulder.

Ethan breezed in with a tray of ring boxes and tilted his head at their bewildered expressions.

"I am claiming beloved uncle status. Besides, the two of you would come up with some plodding boring way to pop the question. That just won't do."

"How in bloody hell did you get into my safe?" Giles tossed his hands in the air.


	18. Twelfth Night

Buffy watched the man dressed like a holly bush drink from what looked like a salad bowl and smiled as Ethan and Giles seemed to find this delightful. She had missed all these odd traditions during her previous years. Hell, the whole concept of twelve actual days of Christmas was still shocking.

Oz slung an arm around her shoulders as they followed the crowd. She reached up and laced their fingers together. Dawn rolled her eyes at their easy affection and bumped Xander with her shoulder. It was peaceful to stroll with her family.

"So, do I have to fight a real Christmas greenery demon tonight?" Buffy smiled.

Giles sputtered, Ethan laughed, and Oz squeezed her arm. Xander and Dawn were up ahead, laughing as they went. The walk passed in a happy blur. Noise and good spirits abounded.

They watched Saint George defeat the Turkish Knight. Buffy saw Giles roll his eyes at the swordplay. He probably wanted to correct their form. Ethan was all smiles.

Buffy looked through the crowd. There wasn't a demon anywhere. She took a deep breath. The only thing missing was Willow. She would have enjoyed the explanations of every festooned character that Willow would have provided, but there would be next year. The coven thought she'd wake up in the next couple of days.

The warm hum of contentment that surrounded her kept brushing up against something. Oz wasn't enjoying this as much as she was. He was nervous. Probably his urge to protect her going in to overdrive because of all the strangers. She leaned her head on his shoulder.

When someone started passing out cakes, Ethan pulled the group back. Buffy frowned at him, but he just grinned.

"Best not to eat something when you have no idea what's in it." Giles touched her shoulder and smiled. "Ethan went to a great deal of trouble arranging all this. I have no idea how he does it."

"He's pretty amazing when he isn't trying to kill us." Buffy smiled and winked at Ethan.

"Get into the pub, Woman. Let's get warm." Ethan linked his arm through hers and smiled widely. "Our meal awaits."

"Welcome to The Wolf's Lady." A round faced waitress bustled toward them. "We have your table ready."

"Great." Buffy smiled and looked around. The place was warm, which was of the good, but it was more. It was perfect. There was a fair share of traditional pub, lots of warm wood and dark colors, but there was space. She smiled.

Their table was situated in an alcove. Buffy slid into a chair. She could see the space around them. Oz sat next to her. Her hand grabbed his naturally.

"Have a cake, everyone. It's tradition." Ethan passed a basket around and they each took a small cake. "Word of warning, two of the cakes contain a little something special. If you find the bean you are our king for the night. If you find the other you'll be his queen."

Oz found the bean and a waiter came forward with a ring of laurel leaves.

"Your crown." Ethan smiled and placed the thing on Oz's head.

Buffy hid her smile by breaking apart her cake. She felt something metal, and pulled a ring from the cake. It was beautiful and old. Her heart skipped when Oz coughed. He was on one knee.

He looked like something out of a painting her mom would have coveted, otherworldly and mythic. She felt her hands shaking.

"Yes." Buffy nodded.

"Can I ask first? Spent some time on this." Oz smiled and she nodded some more. "I was yours a long time before I admitted it. Our roads would have been smoother if I'd grabbed you in the school basement, but we would have had different trials then. You had your path to walk and I had mine. Those paths made us, carried us, here to each other. I want to be the strong arm at your back and the warm embrace that brings you home. I love you, Buffy. Would you marry me?"

"Yes, yes, gods, yes." Buffy sank to her knees and kissed him. He slid the ring onto her finger and it fit perfectly. She knew the others were milling about excitedly, but it didn't matter. He was hers. She was his.

"I love you, Oz." She wound her fingers in his hair and pressed her lips to his cheek.

"You're getting married!" Dawn squealed and dragged them both up to their feet. "That's so great."

"Congratulations." Xander clapped Oz on the shoulder.

Giles and Ethan smiled and nodded, waiting for Dawn to quit bouncing. Buffy grinned at them over Dawn's shoulder.

"So, this is gonna be a big thing, right?" Xander smiled. "I mean the first one of us to get married, and, technically, it's two of us."

"Wedding plans are usually made by the couple, Xander." Giles grinned. "But it will be as big a deal as Buffy and Oz want it to be."

"Family only, small." Buffy smiled. "I mean if that's okay with Oz."

"Soon." Oz blushed. "That's all I care about."

"Well, June is six months away, but we could swing it, right?" Dawn looked over at Ethan and Giles. "I'll be back from school. It should be perfect."

"I was thinking more like six weeks." Buffy smiled brightly. "Or sooner."

"Buffy, you aren't the only slayer anymore. You don't have to squeeze in your wedding before the new big bad does its thing." Dawn patted her shoulder.

"Not a slayer thing, Dawnie." Buffy blushed.

"Then why?" Dawn looked so frustrated. "Why not make the day amazing?"

"It will be because it's Oz." Buffy swallowed. "And I'd like to enjoy our honeymoon, too."

"She's pregnant, Dawn." Xander sat down and started picking at his cake. "Even I get that."

"I'm going to be an auntie?" The bouncing and squealing started again. "When? How?"

"I'm not answering those questions." Buffy blushed and pushed her sister away gently. "You're in college. You should know the answers by now."

"Before this conversation veers any further into the inappropriate, why don't we sit down and crown our queen for the night?" Giles said as he polished his glasses with vigor.

Ethan pulled out a delicate crown of white flowers and passed it to Oz.

Buffy sat down and let him arrange the flowered circlet on her head. His fingers slid along the back of her neck, soothing her nerves. Her fiancé was almost too perfect.

"You look quite lovely." Ethan smiled.

"Thank you." Buffy nodded her head regally and ruined the effect with a giggle.

"I wish you could wear Mom's dress." Dawn smiled. "I remember you trying it on when we were little. She would have loved to be here for this."

Buffy nodded and laced her fingers through Oz's.

"Anya would have loved to help out, too." Xander tilted his head and smiled. "She used to talk about that stuff all the time."

"Where is everyone? This place is great." Buffy shifted in her seat and looked around again.

"I arranged a private party for the night." Ethan flicked some lint from his sleeve.

"How did you find this place, Ethan?" Oz raised a brow.

"I owned it, actually." Ethan shrugged. "It used to be The Sorcerer's Lament. I decided to spruce the place up. It was time for a change. It's yours by the way."

"What do you mean?" Oz stilled.

"I'm giving the pub to you. Think of it as an engagement gift." Ethan smiled.

"It's too much. We can't accept something like this." Buffy shook her head.

"She's right." Oz squeezed her hand.

"I have no time to mind it, and I imagine you'll be needing a new venture soon enough. Can't be traipsing about the planet, finding people when you've a family of your own."

"Finding people?" Xander looked at Oz. "What does that mean?"

"I happened into a career as a retriever." Oz shrugged.

"You have quite the reputation." Ethan smiled. "You've never failed."

"My skill set comes in quite handy." Oz closed his eyes.

"What exactly have you been doing?" Buffy turned to look at her mate.

"He finds people that have been kidnapped and returns them to their families. He's the very best in the world." Ethan tilted his head. "Only takes money from corporate clients, a true white hat, and a wealthy one."

"I helped people get their loved ones back safely. It was good work." Oz closed his eyes. "It was important to me because I had left mine behind."

"You won't have to do that again." Buffy kissed his cheek. "I mean leave us. The job sounds good."

Oz nodded and kissed her gently. His fingers traced the planes of her cheeks. She felt the surge of devotion and love coming from him and moved closer. She loved knowing him this way. The intimacy of it formed a happy bubble around them.

She heard the clatter of plates being set on the table, and Oz pulled back. He smiled and ran a thumb along her bottom lip. The promise of the night ahead was there in his eyes.

"We need to eat." Buffy smiled. She looked over at Giles and the others and blushed.

"I have a gift for you as well. It's not quite as extravagant as Ethan's, but I hope you will appreciate it." Giles pushed a small package across the table toward them. Oz unwrapped it and smiled, a true beaming smile.

He turned the box and showed Buffy a picture of the two of them sitting on the stairs in the library. Oz was reading and she was asleep, resting her head against his legs.

"How?" Buffy looked up. "We lost everything."

"No. I have boxes of things I sent here when I left Sunnydale. I had forgotten about them, but I started going through them and found that." He smiled. "It seemed appropriate."

"When there are supposed to be gifts, you guys have to tell me." Xander groused. Everyone laughed.

Buffy leaned on Oz, taking in the warm laughter and silly expressions of her family. She was a normal girl in a normal world, celebrating a normal thing. It was extraordinary.


	19. Epiphany-EpiloguePrologue?

Xander rubbed the back of his neck as he walked down the hall toward Willow's room. He had left the rest of the house fast asleep. It had been such a wonderful night. He sighed. For the first time in a long while, he remembered what was wonderful about being a Scoobie.

He smiled as one of the coven approached him. She was tall with long dark hair and walked with a Ginger sway. Ah, Gilligan's Island. He couldn't remember her name, but she'd come with Willow on a mission in Africa once. It was something with an R. He closed his eyes and dug deep. Names he could do.

"Rhoda?" He smiled. Another classic television show.

"Xander, it is good to see you again despite the circumstances." The woman smiled, but the look didn't reach her eyes. "Willow is awake. Well, she's asleep now, but she woke up."

"That's good news." Xander sighed. "Which means there's bad news, too. Hit me with it."

"She has no memory of us, not a single coven member. She's been asking for an Oz, a Daniel Osbourne, and, occasionally, for you." She bit her lip. "She's quite frightened."

"Time for a little best friend magic, then." Xander smiled.

"It won't be that easy. Willow is panicked. She refuses to talk to any of us beyond demanding to see you or..."

"Yeah, yeah, Oz. They used to date back in high school. He's an original Scoobie." He smiled at her blank look. "One of the lucky few that knew Buffy when there could be only one. He's a friend."

"Then you know where he is." She visibly relaxed. "Call him."

"He's asleep, but I'll call the house soon." Xander glanced at his watch. "You do not want to wake up the slayer this early."

"Why would calling this other man wake the slayer?"

"Well, they share a room." He smiled. "And they got engaged last night, so it isn't the best day to call early if you know what I mean. Don't worry. I'll go in and try to get her to talk to us. She always comes around for me."

"She's been through a lot. Kennedy has been siphoning power from her for years. i cannot begin to fathom the trauma of such a violation." Rhoda shivered and grabbed his arm. "The amnesia may be the result of the power drain or it may be her mind's defense mechanism kicking in."

"Either way, we need our Willow back hale and hearty. I don't need the instruction manual. I'm her best friend. There's this whole crayon thing. You wouldn't understand." Xander stared at her hand. "I know you're a witch and all, but get your hand off me."

She pulled her hand away slowly.

"I look like any ordinary one eyed guy, but don't push it. I've seen more battles than you, guaranteed, and I did it without any precious powers. I may look like shit to you, but I come through for my girls."

"I meant no disrespect." She held up the offending hand. "I care about Willow."

"There's a line, and you can't cut."

"If she doesn't recover, you lose some shared memories. We lose more. She's the strongest of us. Do you know what that means? Do you have any idea?" Rhoda looked at him with disdain. "We need her."

"Then let her family take care of her. She's ours. We will figure it out. We always do." He looked into her pale blue eyes and waited.

"We need her. Please help her." Rhoda stepped back and dropped her gaze to the floor.

He opened the door and glanced over at the bed. Willow was still asleep. He took a deep breath. Good. He needed some time to chill out. He pulled the chair next to the bed and grabbed Willow's hand.

"Xander." Willow squeezed his hand. "What happened? Did it work? Why are we in London? Oh my, what happened to you? Did Angelus do that to you?"

He shook his head, unable to answer the barrage of questions.

"Is Giles okay? Is Buffy? They mentioned another slayer. Tell me Buffy's okay." Her fingers dug into him.

"We all made it." He swallowed. If she asked for Tara, he was screwed.

"Where's Oz? Why isn't he here?" Her eyes were wide and shining. "I understand I was out of it for a while. I mean we're in London. But, he's here right? You've seen him?"

"I saw him last night."

"What about Buffy?"

"Yeah, she was there. Not much of a party without Buffy." Xander smiled.

"You were at a party with Buffy? You were out there having fun while I was here alone?" Willow looked around the room and yanked her hand free. "There aren't even flowers. Did you all just forget me?"

"Of course we didn't forget you, Willow."

"Then why was I left here with strangers?" She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him.

"They aren't strangers. They're your friends, too." He took a deep breath. "We knew you were in good hands."

"Okay, but I'm not a fool. You don't look the same and neither do I. How long was I asleep?"

"A few days. Buffy and Oz saved you from Kennedy, but you were pretty beat up." Xander rubbed her leg gently under the blanket. "Buffy sucked the power right out of Kennedy and stopped the spell that was draining you. I think it freaked Giles out. There were a lot of dear lords involved."

"I don't remember any of this." Willow looked up at him with a sad smile.

"Fine. There's no pressure." He leaned forward and smiled. "What's the last thing you do remember?"

"I was in the hospital in Sunnydale, and you left to help Buffy." Willow swallowed. "I know the spell worked. I know it did."

"What spell?"

"The one to give Angel back his soul. It worked, right?"

* * *

Author's Note

Okay. I'm sorry. I usually don't leave so much unresolved. There is a sequel bouncing around in my head. Actually, if I look at it the right way there are several. Let me know if you want me to pry them free.

I hope you all have a very happy new year.

Thanks for all the kind words. They keep me going.

The poll on my profile page closes at the end of the month. Help me pick my next long story with your vote. Pretty please.

Thanks again for reading.

Have a happy new year.

-Anna


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